Write something that goes with the song in your head.
"Rocketeer" (Far East Movement)
Here we go
Come with me
There's a world out there
that we should see.
Take my hand
Close your eyes
With you right here
I'm a rocketeer—
It never seemed to matter that she was always either coming down from some chemical high or on her way to another—not in hindsight, anyway.
Her brown eyes only ever stared back starkly at me, lucid and utterly impenetrable and never quite inviting, and whether that was because they were all mortared, the lathered, muddy waters still over a close-vested conscience, or because animal-like they covered nothing at all I never had the guts to ask.
She was staring me down dispassionately, when we kissed in the corner of a crowded room and when we held hands walking down empty side streets; her small, sprightly body made its practiced movements against mine, her lips almost groping past me wanting something different...
And am I now enough to break it all down—to break it all free?
It's not even a question.
The courage to lay one calloused hand hard against the smooth line of that proud little jaw, to speak the rough and tender words that rip shine like stars' light out from those matte eyes—I learned it. I looked, unblinking, to the sun as it climbed in the morning; I raised my arms high over my head and I heard the answer.
The strength to pull that still-beating little heart up through navel and throat, feverish pace pulsing to shock lifeless lips into gaping awe—I've got it. I bought it with beaded drops of sweat mixed with tears as a summer burned me in my shame.
The knowledge to run and never stop running, hands gripped tight, up and onward and new, not looking back but from the highest heights and then only to laugh...
It's mine. It's only the beginning.