One thing that always struck me about the van was how big it was, especially when you're the only person in it. It felt sad and empty, like it had just witnessed some massive battle and, maybe it was just me, but I thought that it needed a big hug.
"I'm having one of those days." I mumbled to myself, screwing up my face slightly, looking around to check that nobody had noticed me giving the seat I was on a sly hug.
I couldn't get that kiss out of my head. Every time I closed my eyes, I could remember every little detail. Everything. How she looked, how it felt, how I'd wanted to do it again. And as silly and girly as it sounds, it had been the best kiss ever. Not that I've done a great deal of kissing before.
She was special, Louise. My Louise.
"Hey Si." She yelled, opening the door. I smiled as she clambered in and sat next to me. I thought about taking her hand in mine but wasn't sure whether I should.
"It still feels like a dream." I mumbled.
"What does?" She stared into my eyes, looking innocent.
With the help of a short burst of courage, I kissed her. It wasn't an especially long kiss but it was a loving and gentle kiss, like it wasn't our second - closer to our twentieth.
"Oh, that." She said nonchalantly. I stuck my tongue out at her to which she replied in kind.
I took her hand and watched as her smile widened.
"I have to admit that I'm a little bit nervous." I murmured.
"What about?" I felt her hand squeezing mine slightly.
"Us. Whether we'll work." I couldn't look at her - I was already jeopardising the thing that had made me happier than I had ever been. Great.
"Why wouldn't we?" She sounded upset; I thought that maybe she was worried that I was already breaking up with her.
"You're a cop and I'm on the run, sorta." I offered, unsure.
"Is that a big deal to you?" I could hear the worry in her voice now.
"No, but to others." I held onto her hand tightly, hoping that that would get across my feelings for her.
"And I suppose the age thing is a concern too. 4 years."
"Not to me. I just wanted you to know that this isn't going to be that straight forward. But I'm going to fight for you. For us."
With that, she smiled and we shared another kiss. When the kiss ended, as it sadly must, I held the embrace and whispered in her ear.
"Seriously?" She replied in shock, to which I nodded.
"That's my biggest secret." I half smiled.
"Isn't it an issue?" She looked concerned.
"Nope. It's dealt with now. Because of you." My smile widened and I felt myself blushing slightly, as was she.
"Why are you telling me this? I know most guys wouldn't."
"Those three little words." I mumbled.
"Say them." It was an order, accompanied by a little wink.
"I trust you."