*RING RING* *RING RING*
Caller (Eastern European accent): Sausages, get your sausages here!
Me: Excuse me?
Caller: I say ‘sausages, get your sausages here!'
Me: And who are you?
Caller: I sell sausages. Lovely sausages. Sausages-
Me: 'Get my sausages there.' So I heard the first time. I know. Look, what are you doing selling sausages on the telephone?
Caller: I am a mobile seller.
Me: What? Is that a new breed of door-to-door salesman?
Caller: Door...to door?
Me (rolling eyes): Well, if I wanted some, where would I get said sausages?
Caller: You want sausages? That I can do. I sell sausages. Get your sausages here!
Me (frustrated): Yes, but where is here?
Caller: My shop here of course. My shop sell sausages-
Caller: I was about to say. No interrupt me, okay? My shop sell sausages! Opposite main street market. You go there, you buy many sausages.
Me (slowly): And, why would I buy your sausages?
Caller: Scrumptious! Pure German meat. Get your sausages here!
Me: Okay! Okay!
Caller: So…you buy sausages?
Me: No, sorry. I’m a vegetarian.