G2

*ringring*
*ringring*

Pianist: Mac's Philly Cheese Steak, Take-Out-Delivery? 

Caller: Yes, I'm--sorry?

Pianist: Mac's Philly Cheese Steak, Take-Out-Delivery.

Caller: (clearly confused)  I'm... I'm sorry, I think I have the wrong number.

Pianist: (perfectly content) That's fine, it happens.  Good day.

*click*
pause
*ringring*
*ringring*

Pianist: Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite coffee?

Caller: ... Excuse me?

Pianist: Favorite kind of coffee, what is it?

Caller: Look, who is this? 

Pianist: You called, so who do you think it is?

Caller: I, er, meant to call the Squared-G...

Pianist: --G-Squared, thank you.

Caller: Sorry?

Pianist: Never mind, keep going.  You were calling this G-Squared for the purpose of...?

Caller: (clears throat) Well, you see, I was calling you--

Pianist: --Or this G-Squared.

Caller:... right, this G-Squared, regarding a project proposition you...she made.  We were wondering--

Pianist: Wait, you used "we".

Caller: ...I did.

Pianist: But there's only one of you.

Caller: (a bit annoyed) I'm calling on behalf of my employer--

Pianist: As opposed to be-whole?

Caller: What?

Pianist:  Nothing.  Continue.

Caller: I'm calling on behalf of my employer, and we were wondering if she'd be interested in applying this project idea--

Pianist: And what idea is this, specifically?

Caller: Until I get her agreement that information is on a need-to-know basis.

Pianist: Did she submit this idea to you formally expressing interest?

Caller: Well... no, not exactly...

Pianist: Then on her behalf I wholly decline your offer and suggest that you pursue it no further, as you will only be running into a brick wall.

Caller: Look, who is this?  Who are you to speak on her behalf?

Pianist: That, my friend, is information cataloged under "need to know basis", and as of this moment in time you most certainly do not need to know.

Caller: (exasperated) Is there anyone there who I can talk to that's not--

Pianist: You know, you've an excellent voice.  Very authoritative.  Ever thought about going into radio?

Caller: Oh for the love of...

Pianist: Have a good day.  Best wishes!

*Beepbeepbeepbeep* 

The End

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