*Ring, Ring* *Ring, Ring*
Caller: I know where you live… Whooo…
Me (rolling eyes and unimpressed): Yeah. Ryan, stop being such an idiot.
Ryan: Sorry. I just thought I’d wish you a Happy Halloween.
Me: With one week still to go? Either you’re drunk or you’re not getting to the point. I dislike both options so don’t test my patience.
Ryan: Do you want to go for lunch sometime? Like, tomorrow?
Me: I can’t do tomorrow; I have a huge Psych assignment to complete and then hand it.
Ryan: Right… Okay then, there-
Me: Since when do you shout me lunch though Ryan? Come on.
Me: Yeah, I thought not. Can I take a guess?
Ryan: Can’t I just want to talk…?
Me: You never want to talk. That’s what you moved to the other side of the country.
Ryan: Okay… Mother wants to talk…
Me: There’s nothing to talk about.
Ryan: But, Ang-
Me: She can go to hell, Ryan! I’m sick of hearing all those excuses.
Ryan: She’s really not that bad once-
Me (sighing): I can’t believe she’s suckered you in. You of all people, Ryan! You’re just like me the first couple of times…
Ryan: Look, maybe you should see a councillor-
Me: Don’t tell me what to do!
Ryan: -Because maybe you’re taking all this divorce stuff too far.
Me: I trusted her! She betrayed me, lied, drove me half mad…and then used me to get money, attention, a new effing boyfriend! Don’t you tell me that I’m taking it too far. God, no wonder I moved out.
Ryan (quietly): No wonder…
Ryan: Right that’s it; I’m moving down to look after you. That means I’m taking all my stuff too… Remember I’m screwing up college just to see that you get better. Hey, do you think I should ask Michelle if she’ll move in with us…?
Me: Oh, brother…