*Ring, Ring* *Ring, Ring*

Me: Yup?

Caller: I know where you live… Whooo…


Me (rolling eyes and unimpressed): Yeah. Ryan, stop being such an idiot.

Ryan: Sorry. I just thought I’d wish you a Happy Halloween.

Me: With one week still to go? Either you’re drunk or you’re not getting to the point. I dislike both options so don’t test my patience.

Ryan: Do you want to go for lunch sometime? Like, tomorrow?

Me: I can’t do tomorrow; I have a huge Psych assignment to complete and then hand it.

Ryan: Right… Okay then, there-

Me: Since when do you shout me lunch though Ryan? Come on.


Ryan: Um…

Me: Yeah, I thought not. Can I take a guess?

Ryan: No..?

Me: Tough.

Ryan: Can’t I just want to talk…?

Me: You never want to talk. That’s what you moved to the other side of the country.

Ryan: Okay… Mother wants to talk…

Me: There’s nothing to talk about.

Ryan: But, Ang-

Me: She can go to hell, Ryan! I’m sick of hearing all those excuses.

Ryan: She’s really not that bad once-

Me (sighing): I can’t believe she’s suckered you in. You of all people, Ryan! You’re just like me the first couple of times…

Ryan: Look, maybe you should see a councillor-

Me: Don’t tell me what to do!

Ryan: -Because maybe you’re taking all this divorce stuff too far.

Me: I trusted her! She betrayed me, lied, drove me half mad…and then used me to get money, attention, a new effing boyfriend! Don’t you tell me that I’m taking it too far. God, no wonder I moved out.

Ryan (quietly): No wonder…


Ryan: Right that’s it; I’m moving down to look after you. That means I’m taking all my stuff too… Remember I’m screwing up college just to see that you get better. Hey, do you think I should ask Michelle if she’ll move in with us…?

Me: Oh, brother…


The End

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