*Ring ring*

*Ring ring*

Me, sitting on the settee watching Criminal Mind: Phone!

Friend, also sitting on the settee trying to watch Criminal Minds: Gunna answer it then?

Me: Nah, Matt can.

*Ring ring*

Friend: *sigh* he went to football an hour ago.

Me: *Feeling like a plonker* Oh. Better get it then.

*Ring ring!*


Me: Hello, who is it?

Person on phone: 'ello luv, this is Gary from Capital One speaking - 

Me: *Loosing intrest*

Gary from Capital One: Is there a, um, Ms Daniels there?

Me: No.

G.f.C.O.: Oh. Ur, do you, er, know when she's er, in?

Me: No.

Friend: Who is it?

Me: *shrugs shoulders and covers mouth piece* My best friends at Capital One.

Friend: Fun.

G.f.C.O.: *muffled under hand* Are y' sure?

Me: Yes. *Wanders over to the settee arm to watch the profilists catch the bad guy*

G.f.C.O.: Do y', er, know when she's back?

Me: Nope. *gasp and yells at TV* No! Don't get in the car, that's the murderer. No! I said don't get in the car...but what do you do? You get in the car! Brilliant!

Friend: If only they listened.

Me: This programme is so staged.

Friend: I wonder why...

Me: *swears*

G.f.C.O.: Hello? Hello! Hell-oooooo... Anyone there? Hello? He-he-hello.

Friend: *points to phone with smirk*

Me: Hello?

G.f.C.O.: Could y' tell Ms Daniels I rang?

Me: Who is this?

G.f.C.O.: Gary-

Me: Gary who? I don't know any Garys.

G.f.C.O.: *stammer* I'm, er, from, um, Capital, *voice breaks* One.

Me: Oh! Gary from Capital One! Why didn't you say so?

Gary from Capital One: I, er, did. *cough* Could you tell Ms Daniels that I rang.

Me: U-huh. Regarding what?

G.f.C.O.: Her new card. *sigh* Right, g' bye luv. Pleasure talking to you.

Me: Bye Gary! *turns to TV* I did warn you not to get in the car, didn't I? Now look at you, all cut up and being fed to goats. Shoulda listened.

Friend: I worry about you.

*beep beep*

The End

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