Caller: Have you looked outside of your house recently?
Me: I'm sorry? Who's speaking, please?
Caller: My name is not important.
Me: I'm not sure I understand.
Caller: Have you looked outside recently?
Me: Not since I got home, no.
Caller: Good. Don't.
Me: Why, what's out there? What have you done to my house? What's happening?
Caller: You didn't hear anything?
Me: Not a whisper. It's been quiet as the grave around here; pretty secluded anyway, and I haven't seen anybody.
Caller: *spooky voice suddenly becomes more normal* Oh. This is Miss Smith, isn't it?
Me: No. Delorfinde Telcontar speaking.
Caller: Ah. That would explain a lot. My apologies. Sorry. Goodbye.
Me: Umm, bye ...