*ring ring*

Me: Hello?

Caller: Have you looked outside of your house recently?

Me: I'm sorry? Who's speaking, please?

Caller: My name is not important.

[awkward pause]

Me: I'm not sure I understand.

Caller: Have you looked outside recently?

Me: Not since I got home, no.

Caller: Good. Don't.

Me: Why, what's out there? What have you done to my house? What's happening?

Caller: You didn't hear anything?

Me: Not a whisper. It's been quiet as the grave around here; pretty secluded anyway, and I haven't seen anybody.

Caller: *spooky voice suddenly becomes more normal* Oh. This is Miss Smith, isn't it?

Me: No. Delorfinde Telcontar speaking.

Caller: Ah. That would explain a lot. My apologies. Sorry. Goodbye.

Me: Umm, bye ...

*beep beep*

The End

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