(GeorgiaAmanda)

*RING, RING* *RING, RING*

Me: Hello?

Caller: So... Deal? Or no deal?

Me: (uneasy silence) What?

Caller: You heard me, huggyferret. Deal, or no deal?

Me: I haven't the slightest idea what you are talking about. Is this a prank call?

Caller: Ouch, baby, why so cold? Don't play with old Noel.

Me: Noel? What..? Oh, Noel!

Noel: Now you remember, baby.

Me: Noel, I've told you before - I'm not interested.

Noel: They all say that. C'mon, girl - I'll wear my best corduroys.

Me: Please stop phoning me. I’ve already changed my number four times!

Noel: You can change your number, but the digits of lurve will never change. 5683.

Me: I swear, I’ll file a restraining order!

Noel: 5683, baby. (A clicking noise is audible from the phone, most likely accompanied by a wink.)

Me: 5683? 56... NOEL, THAT SPELLS LOVE! You weirdo.

Noel: (The Beegees‘ “Mr. Jones” can be heard in the background) I was gonna be in The Beegees. I’ve got the look, don’t you think? (scratching noises as he strokes his beard.)

Me: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Noel, are you..? Stop singing, Noel!

Noel: (He sings in a very high-pitched voice, his voice cracking with the strain.) Have you seen my wife, Mr. Jones? Do you know where she is, Mr. Jo-ones?

Me: I’m hanging up now, Noel.

Noel: Oh baby, wait! Oh, be right back, huggyferret, It’s the Banker.

*Beep Beep*

 

The End

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