Dragon and Bill the Paper Man

You know what?" I said to my friend Bill in the next bed.

"What?" He replied.

"I think I'm going to sneeze." My nose started buzzing with pre-sneeze energy.

"Oh, oh." Bill stated. "Nurse! He's going to sneeze again!"

The beautiful nurse ran over "Again, Mr Dragon? I hope you're not getting a cold."

My friend shuddered and looked at a very distinct but old burn on his papery hand "Not again!"

The tickle in my nose was increasing, and the familiar burning of flames were swirling around my head. The nurse placed a cubicle around the bed and ran for cover, my friend hid under his starched, clinical looking hospital blanket. Not that that helped last time.

"A...A...A...ACHOOOOO!" I sneezed, and a fireball erupted out of my mouth. Yet again, it caught the cubicle and it began to burn around me. The Red-Headed Nurse sprayed the fire out with a fire extinguisher and handed me one of my special medical tissues.

"Thankyou" I told her gratefully, before blowing my nose.

It was unfortunately true that a very small amount of lava came out of my nose whenever I sneezed. So the tissue had to have steel lining in order to survive the intense heat. My friend came up from out of the blanket.

"Dragon, dude. I think you should have your brain flooded with water to put the fire out." Bill advised, me irritated at my sneezing.

"Oh yes? And what about your little, problem, Bill? Why don't I put water all over you?"

"Are you crazy? I'd just melt away." Bill was horrified at the suggestion.

"Exactly. I'd like to see you try and have a breathing fire power."

"Oh yeah? You think it's easy being made of paper, too?" Bill frowned. "Sometimes, Dragon you can be SO inconsiderate. It's always about you and your breathing fire. At least you have a cool name!"
"Dragon is SO last year." I replied.

"I only called myself Bill for a joke!" Bill insisted.

"What's your real name?" I asked, allowing the argument to lose it's tension for a few seconds.

"You know we're not allowed to say, Dragon. It's the Superhero Code." Bill turned his head away childishly "Hmph."


I paused for a few seconds, Bill and I had been through this annoying conversation before. We were no longer super heroes. We were more like the outcasts of Superhero Society, the people that ended up in comic books for about 2 seconds as a sort of extra before accidentally destroying a whole town by having a coughing fit. Still, no one was hurt thank goodness. They all ran to the sewers, which is where I met Bill. He'd fallen down the drain and was stuck to the wall when I found him. Then I dried him out and for a time we became Dragon and Bill the Paper Man!

"You're not a Superhero, Bill."

"I'm not going into this again. You were MY sidekick." Bill crossed his arms defensively.

"No, Bill. I mean generally, we're not superheroes anymore. I was cast out of England Town. And Watery Wendy nearly killed you! Besides, you were MY sidekick."

Bill looked scandalised "I was not! You were mine, people respected me more!"

"That's because they pitied you, Bill. For being made out of paper. They respected me more, people used to clear the way when I walked by." I said smugly.

"That's because they were terrified you'd sneeze on them!"

"Oh shut up." I threw my pillow at him.



There was another pause, before Bill said "Do you think Watery Wendy had a crush on me?"

"No." I said simply. Watery Wendy definitely didn't have a crush on Bill, she had a crush on me and was jealous that I was better friends with Bill. Though I wasn't cruel enough to tell Bill this story.

"Where is Watery Wendy these days?"

"I don't know. I think she's in here somewhere. She got a crush on a human and almost drowned him. Poor Watery Wendy." I shook my head sadly. A lot of my Superhero friends were in the hospital, but in different wings. Electrode was around somewhere as well, Watery Wendy's best friend. They accidentally touched and Electrode managed to fry.

"I don't like being in a Superhero Mental Hospital." Bill said sadly.

"Neither do I." I replied.

"I'm sorry for arguing, Dragon."

"Me too."

"Do you want to know my real name?" Bill asked excitedly.
"Yeah, alright then." I replied smiling.

"William Williamson"


What a massive anticlimax.

Little did I know Watery Wendy was closer than we thought and she'd found out Bill's secret identity!

The End

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