i have panic attacks...real fun right??? -.-
i just want to breathe. like seriously breathe- im panicking and i hate this feeling of being in an enclosed space, unable to move, unable to think. im dying- im so very aware of the time passing and i'm hyperventilating, blood rushing to my ears, drowning out all the sounds around me and the world has gone fuzzy and i wish there was nothing.in.front.of.me. i cant feel my feet and that scares me- my legs feel prickly like there's something crawling on me, and i just want to breathe GOD I JUST WANT TO FUCKING BREATHE
i dont know why i get like this. i dont understand why my brain hates me and twists all my memories into horrible horrible things- i honestly just don't want to feel anything anymore- well at least i did until i felt what it was like to be numb-completely, and utterly unfeeling- and that scared me and i stressed out and just yea.i hate this feeling- this empty painful feeling. everything was going so good, and then this. i stress the fuck out, fail a math class, my mother only talks to me when she's yelling, my da only says things that makes me want to cry, and under all that, like a fucking cracked foundation threatening to crumble to fucking nothingness?
i still want to just curl up and die.