DifficultiesMature

18/02/2014

I went round my best friends today as she was hosting a party thing to do with her work. She lives in the same town as my parents, so it made sense to meet up with mum after work and go home with her. Bad idea. Lots of arguing and sitting quietly as my mum fought tears. When we got to my parents house she went upstairs and stayed there for a long time. One conversation with my brother confirmed he knew, but apparently he had nothing to say on the matter. I text my best friend, found out I could go over sooner and did that. Mum decided not to come with me as originally planned and she and my brother went to the movies.

The moment I got to my best friends house she could tell something was bothering me. I'd told her before about having uncertainties about my gender, so it wasn't too much of a surprise for her. She checked that I was sure and then asked me what she should call me. At this point I was still keeping it quiet, so she didn't have to use it or refer to me with male pronouns. I knew it'd be a while before it reached that point.

Luckily the mother of an old secondary school friend who is also trans was there. I felt a little better talking to her since she was sympathetic to my cause. But a little upset, as she had accepted everything with her kid quite quickly. I got her contact details and tried to give them to my mum without success. She wasn't interested in talking to anyone about it, or facing the idea I guess. When I got home after ten Paul was already asleep. I decided not to disturb him and just cried on my own in the living room. Then I killed time online until I was calm enough to sleep. Eventually I got there at midnight.

The End

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