These past few days have been....Mature

...Odd, emotionally I've been pretty much up and down constantly. I've got this stuff now that I'm supposed to take everyday to lower my adrenaline levels, because with all my random fight or flight triggers I need it. Apparently it'll help because adrenaline is good for the body, but not so much for the brain.

I don't talk about work much on here, but today wasn't a good day. I ended up hiding in the bathroom crying for ten minutes -.-;; Anddddd the moment I sat down, the first thing I get asked is

“Are you okay?” Talk about asking for the damn waterworks.

Now I just feel dumb and embarrassed and dumb again for crying in front of my co-workers. They understood and tried to cheer me up and everything. And I noticed something weird about my reaction to it.

The moment they started trying to cheer me up I stopped crying, but not because I was happy. But because I just slammed a wall. I made myself forget and ignore everything. I can't figure out if that's healthy or not.

Cause even brick walls break....nice little wordplay there for you xD

On another note, I really need to sort myself out. Cause I get home from work and I'm too worn out to bother eating -.-;; I know it ain't healthy, but ugh.....just wanna crawl in bed and sleep most of the time. Work's become a real drain, which is why I'm still applying for other jobs to move to a different department. I love my co-workers where I am at the moment, but the workload is too impossible.

And if I make the slightest mistake my managers on it like a hawk and ugh. It's not humanly possible to do everything I have to do without mess-ups. But I can't complain because the other admin person returns from maternity leave at the end of the months part-time, so in theory things should get easier. In theory.

The End

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