Looking BackMature

I always find it funny when people going on about holding onto the past. I guess if anyone was guilty of that it'd be me. I either went out of my way to forget whole periods of my life, or just remember the worst. 

The other day I saw some old photos from when we went on holiday to Florida, it was before everything went wrong. And rather than cynically think about how young and naive I had been then. I thought about the memories, the good times I spent with my family. I was surprised by how well I could remember everything to be honest.

I'm starting to reach a point where I can separate the good and bad. And where the bad doesn't scare me anymore. When I was in secondary school I tried to talk to someone about my past but the counselling system at that school was less than reliable, with a new person every other week. I lost faith in that sort of thing working. But just now I sent a small update email to the counsellor I saw throughout my two years of college. While she didn't solve my problems, she helped an unbelievably amount. And she restored my faith in things like counselling working. 

I know that if I had never encountered her I would not be taking the big step into my current therapy, which is specialized to deal with my issue. 

Anyway, my original point was, I'm learning to look at the good stuff. When I think of my college counsellor, I don't think of how much I cringed finally telling someone everything. I think about how she helped me. I'm not sure if people would understand my urge to randomly contact her but I felt the needed to thank her a dozen times. And let her know that the person she helped is doing well and sorting things out.

Basically, there's nothing wrong with looking back, just remember to remember the good. And if you do remember the bad, think about what good came of it. Because no matter how bad it was, there is always a positive somewhere.

The End

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