So...I'm going to make it clear, I'm still very much on the atheist side of the spectrum. But recently I've been thinking back to what happened so long ago.
Whenever I tell the story, I say it was just strong gust of breeze through the long grass that sounded like footsteps that saved me. I guess I kind of just explained my back-pedalling. I always said if there was some higher power why didn't they step in and stop it? I guess it would be hypocritical of me to claim to be open-minded and not consider the possibility that someone or something had caused it.
Maybe some entity such as mother nature exists. I'm not saying there's a god. I'm not saying there's any higher power. I'm still atheist. I just...felt the need to share this.
At the end of the day my atheism is still backed by the other crap, and even though it could've been a lot worse. My mind was still pretty screwed up by it. Only now am I getting the correct type of counselling to solve the issues – and it's costing, but I guess life sucks sometimes like that.
Anywho, I'm going to leave this subject alone now. I'm a comfortable atheist, and that one looking back and realisation and panicked questioning is enough for me.