Talk to meMature

I wanted to talk to him. I wanted him to understand that I need speech to communicate with him. He's dead to me if I can't see him and I can't see what he says. I tried to make him understand.

I got frustrated and was all sarcastic. Then he took it seriously and left, oblivious to the fact I could kick him right now. I'm so cruel to him and he doesn't even realize it.

Little son of a....

I'm refusing to talk to him tonight, even if he does decide to come back online which he probably won't. Fucking around on Forge for hours last night and now he's tired. Well that was your own damn fault. He didn't come back last night. He was up til 2pm playing that mother pucking biach ass game and then he goes and fucking leaves again. I'm forcing myself to not go online tonight. He won't see me and I won't talk to him. I wonder what happens if I don't talk to him for the entire weekend. Or next week. Or the week after. Would he care? Would it matter to him? He's got his fucking xbox so he doesn't need me anyway.

Son of a....

I can't work. I keep getting distracted by how pissed off I am. I'm crying now. Little selfish biach. Stop it you whore. 

It would be better if I had an xbox of my own or at least a "live" account so I could know he's alive and maybe even talk to him a little bit when he fucks off and leaves me for... it.

I need to work. I have two exams next week that I haven't prepared for and I need to. I'm terrible at geography and I need to revise for RS but I can't when I'm pissed off and crying and hating myself and hating his xbox.

I told myself I wouldn't be like all those other girlfriends. Crying and pissed off because of an xbox. But I am. I'm selfish, a biach, a clingy little child and just ruddy useless. 


This is today, and today is shite.

I hope you have fun my love

(An hour later)

After crying on the floor for about 10 minutes over a lost revision resource, I managed to get some revision done. Being religious studies, it wasn't unexpected that I had a small revelation. I have emotional withdrawal symptoms. 

"Addicted to love" is the term I've heard the most. I'd spent the whole day with him yesterday and the shock of not seeing him at all was too much for my mind to take so I went a little insane. Then after it was over and I had focused again, my mind became clearer.

I'm still pissed off with him but now I'm not crippled by it.

I'm off to do RS and eat some random out of date eclairs I found ^_^

The End

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