Boring title. The only way to describe it.
Webcam with mi amor. Same old same old. He was about to go for a shower then there's a knock as his door. His Chinese friend is there and they talk for a bit. I'm not in the slightest bit jealous because of her. She seems nice enough and I try not to do the "jealous girlfriend" thing.
As they talked some more and she became more comfortable in his room, she sat down at his desk and marveled his set up. He has duel screens and a printer and his mouse is a beetle car. Pretty cool. They were talking as friends do, and talking.... and talking some more. As they were talking, I felt the sense of being forgotten. Though I knew that wasn't right, I felt something all the same. It was like clouds were pushing against my head and I felt subtly sad.
I knew in my heart that it was jealousy but it took me a while to remember what made me feel this way. It wasn't her directly, nor the other bloke who stood in his doorway for a brief second. It came to a head when he said, "I've got to go for food now" and having to over-look his shower as he went with his friends.
The jealousy. The yearning to have a life like his. One's own dorm, surrounded by other people where you only had to walk a few steps to find a friend. One could talk in each other's rooms, play xbox, go out for food together and sit at a table together. The sense of togetherness was overwhelming just looking through the screen at the two people before me.
And I want it too.
School isn't together for me; not anymore. I don't feel as if I belong there or at any secondary school. Downside of having a uni age amor, I guess I just grew up too fast; saw a life that I realized I wanted for my own.
And now I'm stuck here again. Waiting for him to return.
I want what he has.