I hit my head, over and over. I hit my head on the stone floor which I lay on. I wanted to feel something. I was used to laughing, smiling, chatting till my jaw ached but now it was summer, I was never going back to school and that life was over. I was damned to working from 9 till 5 and had to look for a family and settle down. I didn't want to. I wanted to be shallow and talk about the state of someone’s hair all day.
Yes, it was summer but it was raining. It was like the weather reflected my mood. Sigh. Yes, I was really upset and depressed, the rain wasn't helping. What’s the point though really? What’s the point in trying? I'm going to die in the end when I’m 80 something. I'm going to spend most my life working. Half the money I earn will go to someone else. Life's so boring and unfair.
Hang on; I'm lying on my kitchen floor? Sulking about work when I don’t even have a job? I'm free until the summer ends; I might as well make the most of it.
I stood. Flung the door, to the outside, open and ran out into the middle of my street. I opened my arms. The rain soaked me. It drenched my clothes, my hair, my toes. I let all my worries, annoyances and anger just wash away. I squealed and screamed happily and began swirling as the water washed over my new shoes. I didn't care.
I lay down in the middle of the quiet road knowing my mum’s car was the only one to come down here and she wasn't back till later. I watched the water falling from the dark dull clouds. I was happy, I was free. It felt good. I opened my mouth and drank the rain. I rolled around in the street getting soaked and dirty but feeling complete and finally at peace with the world.
I laughed and let the rain wash everything away while whispering ‘thank you's.