A little while after I'd stopped crying, I heard Aysh pass by my room. I don't know why, but I suddenly felt the need to talk to someone... to tell someone. I wondered how many people knew of Ian's ultimatum. I popped my head out of the door and asked her whether she could come back to my room after she'd been where ever she was going. She agreed and headed off. I went back in and sat on my bed, checking myself in the mirror on the way back to my bed. I wondered whether it was obvious I'd been crying.
I jumped on my bed and picked up my book- I didn't want her wondering what I'd been doing for the last few hours. Mainly because I didn't want to have to admit that I'd been crying; it made me feel weak. I'd been sitting on my bed for a few minutes when Aysh called through, asking if she could come in. I called back that she could. When she walked in, I was sitting on my bed, pretending to read a book. I looked up at her "Can I have a bowl of raspberries?" I asked. She smiled and closed her eyes. Underneath my bed appeared a mini fridge, full to the brim with raspberries. Awesomme!
I smiled when I saw it. Recently, I'd been craving anything remotely healthy. I think it was some sort of side effect from all the muffins. She walked over and sat next to me on my bed. "What's this really about?" She asked. "I mean, raspberries are awesomme, but..." She stopped and looked at me. I sighed. "Has Meita told everyone about what Ian said?" I asked. She shook her head. Dammit. I was hoping she'd atleast have the decency to explain. Aysh must of noticed the look on my face. "Maybe she told people when I wasn't there?" She suggested. I nodded. Then I explained what I'd seen when I entered Meita's head earlier that morning.
She looked shocked when I'd finished, and slightly concerned. I shrugged. "There's nothing I can do to help." I told her. "I feel utterly useless. It's made me think about stuff that's happened, and I just wanted someone to talk to." She nodded and told me that she was there to listen if I was up for talking about it. So I told her. I told her what happened with Jack, and how I'd felt like I'd let him down because I couldn't save him. I told her about how I didn't leave my house for three months after that, but just sat in my bedroom, listening to the thoughts of people passing by, and I told her that I was scared. I suddenly felt extremely weak, ad I couldn't help but cry. I hadn't thought about the day we'd lost Jack since it happened. I'd just locked the memory away in my head. I felt the tears stream down my face, as, for the first time, I properly mourned for the loss of my best friend.