I guess I've been somewhat of a perfectionist all my life. If I don't get A+'s on every test, I've failed. If I don't get 5.00 ratings on my writing works, I've failed. And, most of all, if I don't keep my feelings in check, I've failed.
I haven't always been this perfectionistic. If you walked into my room, you'd see clothes and notebooks and papers all over the floor - no hint at the perfectionist inside.
But when I fail in one of the aforementioned ways...it takes me a while to recuperate. All I can do is fixate on what I did wrong - not what I did right. If I make a mistake, the perfectionist in me refuses to let go of the past. And as a result, I spend so much time looking on what I did wrong that I forget to take steps forward.
I guess it's true - regret is what keeps me from moving forward.
But no longer. These past few weeks, I have kept my face to the sun and my mind in God. And when I'm not ruminating over what I do wrong...I find freedom. Freedom in who God made me to be. And that freedom is what keeps me from looking back.