I don’t know how long I’ve been lost for. The other souls... they scream, they beg, they plead. I think I stay quiet. The noise is deafening. I can’t tell if I do make noise or not. I don’t suppose it matters, I’m still in pain, and that’s all that matters to Lucifer, really. I can feel my soul being drained, all the time, but occasionally, I feel like I’m slipping. I don’t know how else to describe it. I just get the sensation of falling sometimes, like I'm drifting away from Lucifer... Sometimes, I get a brief flash of hope. Hope that I really am slipping away from him, so maybe I can get away. So far every stab of flash has been numbed by the smothering despair that comes from the other souls around me, and the lack of escape. No longer can I feed from their pain, but it weakens me. It’s odd. I’ve never felt something so intense and agonizing before.
I daren’t try to talk to any of the other souls, for fear of Lucifer hearing. But I want to know how many others are slipping? I feel it again, the sudden slip and the abrupt stop. Frustrated, I try to free myself, just as all the others struggle against him. I fight against the depression of the other souls, the desolation and hopelessness. It’s hard, and several times, I feel myself giving up, but then I feel something I’ve never felt before. A breeze. Something other than the sweltering heat of Lucifer. I shiver but keep fighting. I don’t even know why I’m fighting; I haven’t a clue where my body is, or if it still exists.
I struggle on, feeling the slips more often, not caring if all that happens if I get free is my soul dissipating. Anything is better than this. I look around me, as I wrestle against the grip Lucifer has on me. They flop around listlessly, wrapped up in their own suffering. They gave up on trying to get free long ago. I feel one of them trying to reach me, to tell me something but I’m too far out of reach for it.
There’s a searing pain and the most hideous screeching noise I have ever heard in my over drawn life, and then freezing cold and silence. Nothing. I twist around, trying to see through the darkness, but the void is unbreakable. I attempt to make a noise, but I can’t hear anything. I feel myself drifting. No more slipping, just quiet floating. Nowhere to go, nowhere to be. Blankness.
I feel the drifting become more hurried, as if there’s something pulling me around. I have no control over it, the force is even stronger than the bond Lucifer put on me. I think it’s my soul being called back to Lucifer at first, but as I rush through the cold vacuum, I begin to wonder. I feel like I’m being pulled cruelly around in a huge circle, no markers in this darkness to show me where I’m being taken. It feels like hours, maybe longer that I’m being dragged towards something, maybe nothing.
I stop drifting. So it was nothingness, after all. I open my eyes. I hadn’t realised they were closed. Did I even have eyes? Abruptly, sensations hit me; all kinds of smells, noises and feelings. I can hear screaming, shouting, the whistling of the wind. I can smell the blood of vampires and humans and something else that I can’t quite place. The smell of pain. That’s it. I’m weak. I can hardly move, the effort makes me feel ill. I mentally explore the body I’ve been given. To my surprise, and dubious fortune, it’s my old body! It does still exist! I search for the silver. I find it by my human glamour’s wrist, broken and losing power. I move my hand slowly and painfully, fumbling over the broken links of the silver chain. I feel the pain of the vampires above me, and it slowly soothes away the illness I feel.
I’m back. Weaker and broken and for now, immobile. But I’m back, and I’m the same as before. Lucifer has no hold over me any more.