Re: When? [xkatieshepherd]Mature

I suppose the biggest, most prominent question of all is: what now?

What can I do now? How should I respond? Should I be scared? Something like this, something so overwhelming and ground-breaking, and I didn't have a clue how to react. If someone had told me a few months ago that I didn't have especially long to live, I might have made the most of it then. I would have done things I'd never dared to. I might have been incredibly reckless, I might have grabbed a hold of life with two hands and enjoyed every single moment. I wouldn't've let petty things get me down. I would have told my family every single day how much I loved them, how much I appreciated them, and how little they should mourn for me when I'm gone.

But no, that wasn't how it went.

They didn't tell me a few months ago, they told me a few weeks ago. Now time is falling away from me, slipping through my fingers and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.


I lifted my gaze to meet mothers. She was smiling, but it didn't reach her eyes; it never did anymore. I could tell she was trying to be brave but all she wanted to do was hold me, tell me how much she loved me and how much she was going to miss me when I was gone. I wouldn't let her though. I wanted my final moments on Earth to be happy ones.

'I'm fine,' I smiled back at her, squeezing her hand. 'Can I please have a glass of water?'

Her eyes shifted to the empty glass on my bedside cabinet. 

I answered the unspoken question with another smile. Reassuring smiles were all I seemed to be giving recently.

'I'll be okay. I'm just thirsty.' 

She reluctantly slid her hand out of mine and carried the glass out of the room. I watched her departing figure with fierce admiration. What an incredible woman my mother was.

Oh how I loved her.


'She's so sick,' I whispered to myself. Now that I was alone, I could let the tears fall. I had to keep it together for Tara when I was with her. It's what mothers were supposed to do wasn't it? Stay strong for their daughters in times of need.

With shaking hands, I held the glass under the faucet. Impatiently I waited until it was full. It seemed to take forever. I didn't have forever. I had to get back to Tara.

I turned the tap off and crossed the landing. Swung open Tara's door. Crossed the room and took the seat next to her bed.

'Here you go, sweetie.' 

Her eyes were closed. She looked peaceful in her sleep, a faint smile played at her lips. I placed the glass on her table and took her hand in mine.

She didn't respond.

Then I noticed.

Her chest wasn't moving. She was completely motionless. Almost as if she were...

Gone. My baby was gone.


Word Count: 504.


When: did life become serious?


The End

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