They surrounded me, expecting to help me... how could they understand what I was going through, how could they help me. Everything I have ever done has gone wrong. The one thing that made my life have a point had come to nought, for the people I had tried to help had turned on me and hated and despised me. I had ruined the lives of the people around me and therefore, wouldn't it be better if i didn't exist?
The pain I felt in my chest was overbearing, I wanted to ease it, to get rid of it, yet there was only one solution. The drinking had eased it, yet now there was the risk I would do something stupid, like last night. Gambling took my mind of it but I had no money, and I had hurt too many people to expect somebody to help me out. And the women, they were just distractions. Yet none of it worked anymore. So again, I was left with one solution.
"You need help."
"What difference would it make..? I can't take back what I have done, I can't make up for the problems I've caused and the people I have hurt," my voice came out monotoned and indifferent. I was kind of surprised by this.
"You can make up for it all, by trying again, by making right what you have done wrong. Learn from your mistakes, change for the better," Rob urged.
"He's right bro, there's a lot of good mixed in with the bad in your past... but now with all this hype and anger... somebody must be manipulating us, making us feel worse and invoking fear," he whispered, "I was pretty angry and sad for a while, then I began to feel as if someone where influencing me, I've noticed it for a while now and I've fought it. As a result, I began to feel my old resolution and love of life," Tom grabbed me by the shoulder, "you need to fight it," he persisted.
"Matty, I don't judge you for what has happened, and I forgive you for what you did, I care too much about you though to watch you go through this," Vixen said.
"Come on pal, wake up and be the guy I looked up to," Hunter chimed in.
THere words were meaningless on me, for the most part I wasn't paying attention.
"Can you all go please, I want time to think," I lied, "I heard what you said, I just need to think," I insisted after seeing their doubtful faces.
So I stood on the edge of the bridge, looking down at the crashing waves beneath me. I placed one foot on the edge and took a deep breath. Hopefully the impact on the water would knock me out so I didn't struggle too much. To make this easier and to forget the pain.
I was sick of it all, sick of myself and my own self pity.
I put another foot to the edge. I was surprised by how little a fight my mind was putting up, I had believed I would back out, but it seemed I had embraced this.
I placed a foot over the edge, but the air glowed white and a figure appeared.
"I am the voice of Gabriel, Matthew Tempest, cease this selfish act!" the figure said. He moved towards me and put his hand on my head, "I release you from your burden," there was a glow and I passed out.
I woke up in my room.