Most of the time, I can’t do much more than roll my eyes and scrunch up my nose at the latest political scandal. I think that most politicians are actually the stupidest people in every generation dressed up in suits and taught how to speak without really saying anything. Of course there are exceptions, as there are to every rule. (Lieutenant Governor Doctor Mister Colyer, obviously, is an exception to this rule.)
And there are many factors that work into someone’s political career. Barack Obama, for instance. Personally, I think he and I could be good friends, at least outside of the political circle. He’s silly and real and makes stupid jokes and laughs a lot, despite having the weight of an entire country on his shoulders. And in the political world, I don’t necessarily think he has a bad view of things (though we certainly disagree on some points). But he’s got his head on straight and is accepting, which is pretty much what I look for first in a person.
He’s also got the entire Congress against him in making decisions, so he hasn’t gotten a lot done. That’s typically when we stagnate – when nobody can get anything done. So it hasn’t been easy digging ourselves out of the hole we’re in.
I think the best kind of President is a moderate one. But I don’t mean politically in the middle – I mean with strong – sensible – views on things, but a perspective beyond that. You have to be willing to make concessions and make other people happy. You’re running a freaking country for God’s sakes. You can’t be so worried about making abortions illegal (or whatever) that you don’t react appropriately to American citizens fighting and dying in wars that should be long over. All these plans and promises that politicians make, the platforms they built themselves up on, the agendas that every single one has, they all come crashing down when a World War or a Great Depression intervenes.
So sometimes I think I would be a pretty damn good politician. I’d strip away all the bullcrap talk that doesn’t mean anything other than “vote for me”, and I’d be real about it all. Maybe that’s just the hubris talking though. You’d never get a guarantee from me that I’ll solve all the world’s problems, but you can get a solemn vow that I will do everything I can to make this corner of the world the best it can be.
And why does everybody think war is the solution? For God’s sake, the parody of Voldemort knew it didn’t help. “Killing people doesn’t make them like you, it just makes them dead.” Duh. So why do we keep making scarier guns and missiles and spy machines and killing more people? (And don’t you dare say because other people are, because that will only make me want to groan loudly and cover my face in absolute humiliation.)
I truly believe in my heart of hearts (a saying I don’t understand) that if you strip away all the politics and pompous ass-ish-ness that comes with being an important suit, people can be friends. Ayatollah Whoever and President Whoever can be best buds and enjoy a basketball game together. Whatever. All I’m saying is, despite how different you may be, you’ve got some things in common. And if one of those things isn’t that you want people to live instead of dying, then get the hell off this planet, okay?
I don’t know. I’m a bit like Obama. You’ll see me make a snarky, sarcastic joke or stick my foot on the back of a scale while someone’s trying to weigh themselves. If FOX News obnoxiously bothered me for a video of my birth, I might give them a clip of The Lion King, too.
I really don’t pay enough attention to politics, because of all the stuff about it that bugs me, so I don’t know much about Obama’s or anyone’s policies or speeches or any of that. But I’d stay real in front of a podium. I’m not going to avoid the question and go way over the time limit insulting my opposition. I’d tell the truth, which may very well sometimes be “Hell, I don’t know,” and make everyone aware. And maybe no one wants a President who doesn’t have all the answers. I honestly don’t know. But I know this – nobody really has all the answers. Some of us just pretend to.
So whether I end up being a chemical engineer or a doctor or a hobo or the first female President of the United States (side note: I like how they used to do things – you’re a politician, sure, but that’s not your job. You have a career outside of saying “yay” and “nay.”), there will always be things I hold to be true in politics. One: the party system has become just as Washington said it would – not the person choosing based on the candidate’s views, but the people choosing as elephant or donkey. Two: war sucks. Three: give me your real damn opinions. Four: I’ll like you if you admit when you’re wrong or don’t know and are willing to change. Five:
Nevermind, that list will go on forever. Anyway. So yeah, if politics found a foothold to boost me up into, I’d climb to the top. I would. But I don’t know if the country wants any female President, much less one like me.
How about Ellen DeGeneres? She’d make a good President. (That’s a joke, because if they don’t want me, they certainly don’t want fabulous Ellen.)