Everyone has it. That one place they can go where they are totally safe, totally free from the cruel eyes of the world. Where they can be themselves, or whoever they feel like being. Where they never have to worry about being judged or being alone.
Everyone except me.
Let's get one thing straight. I'm not gay. Not really, anyway. And I'm not a dyke, or a lesbian, or a faggot. I'm not a cunt or a whore or a skank.
I'm just me. Trixie Summers.
Waiting for the bus is the worst. Or maybe it's walking the halls, or getting food in the cafeteria. Maybe it's just sitting in the classroom, where no one is actually saying anything. But they're thinking it. Dear God, are they thinking it.
I used to have a semi normal life, back before it all. I used to be liked and accepted and invited to the popular girls' sleepover birthdays. Then Freshman year happened. Tori Allgrahm happened.
Tori was the kind of girl every one finds attractive, never mind types. She was gentle and innocent and alluring. She had these blue eyes..I still cant forget those eyes. It was Christmas break, and she invited all the usual girls over for a holiday party. There was hot chocolate and a tree with more lights on it than stars in the sky.
When everyone was rushing downstairs to indulge on fudge and cookies, Tori asked me to stay for just a minute longer. She shut the door. That should have been a warning in itself.
But I was young and trusting. I didnt realize the look in her eyes when she closed to the distance between us. I didnt notice how her fingers trembled when she placed her hand on my shoulder.
And then she kissed me. And it was wonderful and confusing and soft and rough all at once. And when she pulled away, she gave me this look that told me it had to stay a secret. Then she was on her way out the door, bounding down the stairs.
Two years later, Tori Allgrahm is still the most popular girl in school. She is a victim of a horrid crime. As far as the world knows, I am the one who kissed her. And I am hated. So, so hated.
There is a place for people like me. A group where we can be ourselves. A safe place.
I just cant bring myself to call.