Back at the derelict house I began to feel less-excited. Why did people live in poverty? Why didn't everyone have the same chances in life? Why did I have to be the girl abandoned by my parents? I looked at Kian and he smiled, obviously he was still brimming from the talk.
"Kian," I began, "I want to find my parents," I told him, he raised an eyebrow,
"There are surely ways," I said, "I mean, like tracking family trees,"
"It's impossible Liss; you need to know your surname. It's not Power," he grinned,
"I know someone who knows my surname..." I said slightly unsure of Kian's reaction,
"Who?" he asked, I braced myself,
"The orphanage," Kian took a step back and shook his head in disgust at me, "we're not going back," he told me; I widened my eyes and fluttered my eyes,
"Kian I want to know why..."
"Why they left me. Why they never came looking for me. Why they don't care about me."
"Don't you think all those answers are going to make you hurt inside?" he asked, "I don't want to hurt you,"
"You won't be hurting me," I told him,
"Why do you want to know?" Kian asked sitting on the mouldy sofa,
"Because look at us Kian!" I cried flinging my hand to show the room we were in. The ceiling was cracked, the carpet was stained and green in some places, there was damp rising up the walls and mould growing on every item of furniture in the room. "This isn't real life!"
"It is for us," he said quietly trying to sooth me with his voice, it usually worked but I was angry,
"Why? Why does it have to be life for us? We deserve so much better!" tears began to run down my face, "Why did we get the short straw?"
"Because life is unfair," Kian said,
"You can say that again!" I almost shouted, "I am just so tired of life," I sank down onto the carpet, it smelt like mould too. Kian came and put his arm around me, I wiped my eyes and began to cry properly.
"We have each other," Kian amended,
"It's...just...not...enough," I choked, "If...you...left me..."
"Don't!" Kian snapped, "I will never leave you," he said surely,
"How...can I be...sure?" I asked, "I mean...just look...at me,"
"Because I love you Liss, I promise to never leave you," he told me again,
"How can I prove it to you? Why isn't my promise enough?" he asked,
"Because human minds are so easily changed!" I cried, my voice stronger now, "For example, my parents. They decided they wanted a child, and then BAM! Not any more,"
"You don't know it happened that way," he told me,
"All my life... Kian," I was getting choked up again, tears were pouring down my cheeks now, "All my life... I have been... let down... by everyone." Kian was about to say something but I continued, "My parents...the people at the orphanage...the doctor...the girl who promised to be my friend,"
"What about me?" Kian asked, "I've let you down too, haven't I?" I gulped,
"I'm not worthy of being your friend," Kian said rolling away, "I shouldn't be here," he stood up,
"And that's what I mean!" I cried, "How do I know you're not going to leave me?"
"I'm not good for you," he told me, I looked away from his sweet face,
"Stay," I whispered, "Please stay,"
"I will stay until I can find a better life for you," he told me, I was too tired to talk, I felt my body slump onto the floor.
I woke up to find myself on the cardboard bed, I remember falling asleep in the lounge, Kian must have moved me. As I remembered yesterday, the events of last night flew back to me. I shot up and looked for Kian; he was lying by the door. His face looked haggard and worn; I went to his side and shook him awake.
"I am so sorry," I said, he smiled slightly,
"Come here," he said, I wrapped my arms around his neck and settled into his embrace. I rested my head on his should and kissed his neck,
"I don't know what came over me last night," I said,
"Don't worry about it," Kian told me,
"I'm a horrible selfish person," I cried,
"No, no you're not,"
"Please don't leave me,"