Dear Crap,

   Dear Crap,

   You said okay! After how much you were supposed to love me, you didn't even fight for me! Do you know how much I hurt inside? Do you even comprehend the pain of a broken heart that's been stomped on repeatedly? NO! NO! NO! I don't know who I want to slap more, me or you! I made the mistake to let myself feel for you, but you, YOU. I hold back the tears, because what is the use? I will not cry in front of anyone. NEVER!

    I told you things I have never told anyone before. Love isn't all it's crapped up to be. I thought I wanted love. This isn't love, it's something that I have no words for. The funny thing is... it's not even your fault. It's mine. You were so sweet and caring. I just want someone to take my frustration and anger out. My tears seem to be doing the opposite of cooperating. This hurts so much, baby. I don't even know what I felt for you. It wasn't love, but it was, is real. It can't happen, though.

   It won't happen. My family would never accept our relationship, NEVER understand us. My mother would go after your balls. My brothers, although young, would want to beat you up. My grandma... She would tell you some not-so-nice things. My grandfather would rip your head off. It doesn't matter if we loved each other. It wouldn't matter. You'll be 18 in December, on the 6th. I'll be 15 in January, on the 15th.

   I just wish I had never made the wish to feel your love. To have a boyfriend. I'm not ready to have a boyfriend. I'm just not ready. I'm too scared I'll mess up or you won't turn out to be who I thought you were. I'll say good night because good bye is forever and I refuse to say forever. 

                                                                              With Tears,

                                                                                                         Good Night,


The End

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