Hunter-Utterly Lost

I don't know who had elected her but Madame Mismatched took it upon herself to be captain of this odd little league. She who couldn’t even dress color coordinately was now suddenly in charge of me?! Oh please, shoot me.

We appeared to be in an abandoned town. The houses where old and mistreated, it looked like a tornado touched down here from the weekend. Some of the brick houses were beaten in on the sides and others had completely crumbled. A layer of dirt covered every surfaces and formed little piles outside the doors of the houses.

I shifted the fainted chick on my shoulder and a pulled out my cell phone, the screen showed a comforting black screen. No matter what button I pressed the screen wouldn’t turn on. Well that is always a reassuring sign.  I had half a mind to throw the useless thing over the roof of the nearest abandon shack but I convinced myself to keep it just in case.  I trudged on after the human neon light trying to make sense of the whole situation. It was so confusing, I wasn’t ready to admit we were in another world but there wasn’t really another explanation. 

I gave the unconscious girl a nudge with my shoulder. She didn’t respond. What was her name again? Whatever it was she wasn’t very heavy. I check her pulse. I was beginning to worry about this girl. I’d see guys pass out in football, mostly after having hit their head or being knocked silly, and it had never been a good sign when they stayed out this long. Plus carrying her was a hassle.

“Yo, Bossypants.” I called after miss funky socks walking a head of us.

Her back tensed obviously annoyed with me. The feeling was mutual.

“It’s Olivia.” She corrected turning around.

“Okay, domineering we need to stop.” I said, shrugging the human potato sack from my shoulder.

“What? Run out of muscle?” She demanded.

“No.” but I was about to run out of patience. “This girl needs to wake up or her brain is going to explode!” I said.

Olivia raised anoh-so-disbelievingeyebrow.

“You know what I mean.” I said exasperatedly.

Olivia walked over to me and the slumped over girl. She bent over next unconscious girl.

“Jackie?” She whispered.

So, that’s what her name was.

Jackie didn’t move.

“She’s out; we’ve got to get help.” Olivia said. “I’ve never dealt with anything like this. I don’t know if the girl has any problems. She could be diabetic or asthmatic!”

“Yeah but where are we gonna get help?” I asked. “Haven’t you noticed we’re not on earth?”

“So we teleported to another world, c’mon?”

“That’s just as weird as teleporting to the bad side of town.”

Olivia paused, thinking of a good retort. She just didn’t want to believe we were—somewhere other than other. Where we anyway?

“Look at the sky! Last time I checked earth only had one moon.”

She raised her gazed tentatively to the sky then back at me unfazed.

“We still need help.” She insisted.

“You can’t just go around trusting people! We don’t know where we are or what is happening we could be in the middle of a war for all we know.” I pointed out. “This isn’t Narnia. We’re not going to be protected by a half naked goat man!”

“Have you ever read Narnia?! Tummus was a working for the witch!” Olivia rolled her eyes. “You’re such a pessimist, we could just as easily be in a time of peace too.”

“Does this look peaceful to you?” I demanded, gesturing around us to the welcoming landscape of depilated house. Chipped brick and charred exteriors, busted windows. Some house’s had their sides caved in, this was a ghost town, and this was a former battle sight.

Olivia sighed running a hand through her messy hair.

“Have you got a better idea?”

“I think we should stay put, we arrived here maybe something will happen and we’ll be transported back. I don’t know, maybe the magical dynasty will realize he transported the wrong people or something.”

Olivia looked like she wanted to argue but agreed.

And if it isn’t one thing then it’s another. For at that moment or the moment afterwards, I don’t care too much, a man in a dark weathered cloak walked out from behind one of the houses a crossbow poised at his shoulder.

“Hello strangers, this really isn’t somewhere you want to be.”

I had a feeling he was the reason for that.

Olivia tossed me a scared look. I tightened my grip around the sleepy head.

“Who are you?!” I demanded.

“That’s not really important, what is important is if you have any money on you, ‘cause that’s the only thing that’ll stop me from firing this thing.” He gave his crossbow a little shake.

I tossed Olivia a meaningful look but her brain didn’t seem to work under stress; she just looked as terrified as ever.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out my cell phone.

“I don’t have much,” I tried my best scaredy cat voice.  I wasn’t really used to that role.  I held out my phone. “Just this.”

The man squinted at my hand trying to figure out what I was holding. Before he could react with his crossbow I launched the phone as hard as I could at his head. It hit him in the eye.

He cried out in pain, and we didn’t linger much longer to watch his other reactions.

“Run!” I called but Olivia didn’t need my command. We dashed down the nearest alley and blotted around several corners not bothering to keep track of the left and right turns. We just kept running until we ran out of road—or until Jackie’s head slamming against my chin with every step became annoying. After a mile this girl was not very light anymore.

“Hang on.” I called easing to a halt.

“Oh good.” Olivia gasped clomping to a stop behind me. “You’re fast…oh, I’m dying.” She wheezed collapsing onto her knees.

“No you don’t, I can’t carry the both of you.” I put Jackie gently on to the ground and offered Olivia my hand.

She pretended not to see it as she tried to catch her breath. I gave her a moment.

I turned my attention to Jackie who was beginning to make some groaning noises. Apparently she was not that heavy of a sleeper.

“Oh,” Jackie grumbled her eyelids fluttering open. She raised her hand to her head. “Ouch.” She frowned at the pain. “What happened?”

“Eh, no complaints.” I ordered.

Jackie frowned.

“What happened?” She asked looking over at Olivia.

“You slept through the action.” Olivia joked.

I laughed, scanning our surroundings.

“Now what?”


The End

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