We didn't speak on the way. It was complete silence all the way through. A silence that slowly killed me inside. I had so much left to say to Evan; things I wished I could tell him throughout the rest of my life but wouldn't be able to.
I'd practiced how to control my emotions for this day so many times after that last night together. Since then, I barely got to see Evan or let alone spend quality time with him. My mom and I were so busy packing everything, getting my ticket and travel visa ready. It was too much for me; so hectic and fast that I didn't notice time fly by through it all.
And yet, here I am; sitting in the cab with Evan's hand in mine. The words that I want to say to him lie on the tip of my tongue but they refuse to form completely, to release me of this pain.
I looked out the window, the buildings flying by. That's how I felt my life had gone over the past few days; too fast for me to control. This was all too much for me too handle but it was good. And like Evan had said before, maybe I would regret it if I stayed. He'd always been right about things with me and maybe he would've been right about that too.
Evan noticed something was wrong when my grip on his hand tightened.
I turned to face him as his emerald eyes bore into mine. I smiled faintly. "I'm fine." He smiled back and the silence took over once more as I'd expected. Within a few minutes, the cab pulled up onto the parking area of the airport. Evan and I got out, heading towards the trunk of the car. The cab driver brought me a trolley and I said a 'thanks'. Evan helped me load my baggage onto it and after paying the driver with an additional tip, followed me towards the entrance of the airport.
"Evan, I'll be right back. Just wait for me in the visitors area okay?" He nodded, smiling. After about ten minutes passed and I'd finished some of the airport formalities, I brought the trolley around and moved it towards Evan who waited for me patiently. We still had a few minutes before I would have to go and start boarding the flight.
Giving him a small smile, I whispered, "So this is bye, huh?"
He nodded, smiling back and squeezed my hand. We were separated by a barricade of metal poles that erupted from the ground; restricting non-passengers to enter the area. I wished so much how there was nothing to separate us, I wished to stay but it was far too late for me to tell this to Evan.
"Ada..." He took out something from his pocket and handed it to me. It was an envelope. I looked at him in surprise but his emerald eyes were serious when he continued, "I've written a letter for you. And I only want you to read it, when you're on the flight. Promise me this."
I nodded, taking hold of the envelope. The urge to rip it open and read the contents of the letter at that moment was large but I knew it would only disappoint Evan. So, halfheartedly, I said, "I promise."
"Passengers, boarding for Flight 710 has begun." The announcement began and it was intended towards me. Evan smiled reassuringly as he patted my hand comfortingly.
"Have a safe journey," he said. The pain in his eyes leaked through, his walls going down. Evan took a step back, about to leave and I could see he wasn't able to take any more of this.
I pulled him back and leaned forward, my lips meeting his for the last time. I tried to express all I felt into that one kiss, trying to tell him how much I didn't want to leave him behind. The final show of parting and pain, I felt one tear mix in with our lips but I wasn't sure whose it was. All that mattered was this. I lived in the moment, treasured it. But when I pulled away, I didn't glance back a last time. Because if I did, I knew I would've stayed with Evan forever.