Ada: Deprived of Sleep

Ada Knowles

I curled up against Evan’s chest as his arms went around me, keeping me to him tightly. Closing my eyes, my breathing came to a steady pace but I wondered if Evan was able to hear the trembling beat of my heart against his chest. The words we’d said and the things we’d done over the past two months of knowing each other replayed through my head slowly.

The memories hit me slowly; the first time I’d looked into his beautiful emerald eyes and his musical confrontation, the first night we spent together in my room, our first kiss. It finally came to this moment, the three words he’d whispered. I could hear it from his voice that he’d meant it and that’s what made the pain inside my chest swell up to an alarming size.

A single tear escaped my eye and I was about to unwound my hand from around his waist to wipe it away but before I could, his thumb stopped the droplet halfway across its journey down my cheek. His breath mingled with mine as he cupped my face in his hand and tilted it up so I was looking directly into his eyes. This time, he didn’t say anything. He’d done all he possibly could to comfort me. I closed my eyes when his lips grazed mine softly but I didn’t respond to his kiss. It would only make me want to stay. He sighed and adjusted my position so that he could nestle his head against my neck.

I watched Evan in his sleep. He looked at peace and I smiled sadly to myself at how he’d simply stated that he’d ‘move on’ once I left. Images of him falling in love with someone else once I left and having a family with her entered my mind; mocking me. The trepidation inside my chest increased with every second as my mind tortured me with the different possibilities that could change his life.

Maybe he really is in love with me…but it’s just a normal thing that boys his age feel. We’re only teenagers and having our infatuations at this age was normal. I know I can’t question the emotion that I feel towards Evan because I’m certain it’s love. But when he said he could move on, was he saying that he’s capable of forgetting about me; letting go of all he’d felt for me?

The questions and deep doubts deprived me of sleep throughout the rest of the night. And as the sun rose up into the sky and the beams of light illuminated the tent, I could feel Evan wake up as he moved against my body; lifting his head from my neck and blinking to adjust his eyes to the new colors of morning.

I gave him a small smile and untangled myself from him, giving him some space to ready himself up. Taking out my jeans and t-shirt from my bag, I said lightly, “It’s time I change out of my swimsuit.”

He nodded in reply, rubbing his eyes with his hands and agreed. “Me too.”

Moving out the tent, I headed towards the thick bushes and quickly stripped off the swimsuit, and within seconds was back in my normal clothes. I headed towards Evan who was taking apart the tent and also saw he’d changed back into his normal clothes. He gave me a smile and said, “Time to go home, isn’t it?”

I shuddered inside at the thought of home. I knew he was talking about going back to the house, but my mind was focused on the real destination; back to my dad.

The End

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