Ada: Not Wanting This

Ada Knowles

I immediately froze, my body stiffening and the sudden change in Evan's eyes was enough for me to know that he realised how I felt when he uttered that question out his mouth. The silence took over; only the sound of the soft wind and our breaths releasing into the air could be heard. Evan waited patiently, still lying back against the base of the tent. He would have to keep waiting however, cause I wasn't ready to lie openly and say "I want to leave". That's the total opposite of how I do feel.

We were like that for a few minutes or so; him lying down sidewise while I leaned back slightly against the side of the tent and watched him. I could see his hands clench and unclench through it all as he noticed that I wasn't opening my mouth with the more time that passed by; simply because I wasn't ready.

Finally he groaned and moved closer to me, taking hold of my hand and saying, "Ada, you aren't making this easy at all." I blinked at him, composing my face of a blank expression. I could see frustration leak into his voice when he hissed urgently, "I need you to accept to this. You know what you want and now it's upto you to decide whether I help or not."

"What do you want Evan?" I asked softly and I could feel his eyes divert from my face, looking away. Leaning closer so that I was looming right above him, I placed my palm and cradled the right side of his face and gently pulled it so he'd make eye contact. "What do you want?" I repeated.

"I want you to be happy."

"And what if staying here is what makes me happy?"

He shook his head, refusing to accept the truth behind my desires. "You won't be. The regret will crush you, Ada and I don't want you to face that ever."

"But-"

"I promised you that you'd be with your father. And that's exactly what I'm going to do." There was a sudden feirceness in his voice as if he was bound to carry this out. It killed me and I could feel the tears prick the corners of my eyes.

"But what about you?" I whispered, my voice filled with uncontrollable emotion.

He smiled a little and caressed my face as I sighed, my forehead meeting his.

"I'll move on."

The End

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