I hated what I was doing as I was doing it. Ignoring Evan was like hell for me. I could feel his eyes on me throughout music class and I wanted to just turn around and start a conversation with him. But I didn't. Instead, I stared at the wall, resisting temptation. My hands formed into fists as I waited for music class to come to an end as it went dreadfully slow.
Once the bell rang, I grabbed my things quickly and walked out the door before Evan could catch up with me or worse, before I go to him. I felt extremely guilty throughout each day that passed by. I knew Evan must be feeling confused and hurt because of my actions. But only I knew the reason why I was doing this.
When I think Evan, I think of comfort and the perfect place for my heart to be. I feel so open and free around him. But at the same time, that's the bad thing. I don't want to be open to him. He can easily figure me out since I let my guard down when I'm around him. I just can't do that anymore...I need to be more careful..and that's why I was ignoring him. I was ignoring him cause I liked being around him and for the moment, that was a really bad thing.
With a sigh, I set my tray down and hauled my bag over my shoulder. I wonder what I was going to do this lunch. Clearly, I couldn't go to the music room which is the place I wanted to be most. There was no other place I could go. Guess it was just going to be another day in my classroom, waiting for the bell to ring; signalling the end of lunch.
But I was wrong..
The moment I set one step outside the cafeteria, I felt someone take hold of my arm and pull me along. When I realized it was Evan, I immediately closed my mouth which had opened to accuse my 'kidnapper'. What would I be able to say to him anyway? Wordlessly, I followed him to our well known destination. He made me sit down across him as he went over to the piano and started playing a song I knew; How To Save A Life by Fray.
I could feel my eyes start tearing up. Why would he do this for me? After I ignored him for oh, so long. His voice was beautiful; sounding like only an angel's could and it touched my heart. By the end, we both got up simultaneously and approached eachother. Oh Evan...
I threw my hands around his neck and hugged him.
"I'm so sorry Evan...I'm really sorry."