I shighed I was so tiered but I didint feel like going to bed when I knew I wouldent sleep I saw ben in the hall way on the way to see me in the library no dout I blocked him out. He smiled at me his smile wavered.
"hay jo... your blocking me"
"I dont feel like having my mind read"
he shoved his hands in his pocket staring intently at me I didint look at him or say anything
"you know... just when I thought I had you figgered out... there you go being... mistiriouse on me, I love you jorden. Thats all I can say, I may not know you but I love you"
I finaly looked up at him he looked away at me in thought I looked strate ahead wondering what was to happen from hear on out.
Finaly when the silince streached on between us for a long time I spock slowly and un shere at first "I`m not... good at this... this emintian stuff... the leting people in... it`s not natrel to me, I dont know maybe because I`m so much like my mum... maybe because I wached her die... it seams I`m not the only one who wached my mum die though... I dont know where my life is going... I dont know whats going to happen next. I love you ben... your amasing, nice, kind, smart, you care, your funny, your everything I could want or need in life... I guess thats why your my soulmate, your stubborn, but I like that about you... and your a silent type too but I like that too... I like quight and to be just with someone... but you know that dont you. As for who I am... I couldnt tell you... because the truth is I dont really know... I`m moddy and stuborn and a bitch and a know it all, and I`m quight but like fire is quight... people seam to be scared of me... or at lest in the humen world they were scared of me hear I dont know... everyone seams to pass me by... I keep thinking that people must think as me as benjermens girl or something like that... like I care what anyone thinks... but I feel left out... I guess thats because I`m distant... I`m a loner... but I`m going to try to be friends with people... it`s been a long time since I had real friends..."
benjermen shighed I looked at him and stoped grabing his hand no one was around he stoped and turnd looking at me.
I came clos to him and put my head to his cheast it was nice being in his arms it felt safe there. To think for the first time since I was a little girl I felt safe. I pulled back wraping my arms around his nack he smiled as I stared into his eye. I leand up and kissed him drawing him in closer as I did untell a point we were making out in the middel of the empty hall. I finaly pulled back out of breath and knew what my next step was.
"I`ll see you around ben... I have some stuff to do" I pulled away and walked away then tund around still walking I call to him "and benjermen I love you"
"I love you too jorden scare" I stoped
"why do you always call me jorden scare"
"I like your last name..." he shruged
"I love you jorden"
"I love you benjermen"
"you should do what you need to do..."
I nodded turning again and walked away
"hay jorden" I turnd again walking back wards
"please dont block me it feels like your pushing me away" I smiled and nodded then triped he was at my side.
"it`s ok... I`m fine" I shot my hand into the air then sat up ben looked scared I laughed
"it`s okay I may not be as sturdy and resilyint as you, but I`m use to triping I`m clumsy" ben kissed me deeply then I pulled back and he let me I shighed and got to my feet.
I walked away thinking. I went to my room and got my cards I always kept cards with my name on them it was somthing my mother always did... they were black cards that I could write anything I wanted on them...
I went to midnights room she wasent there I thought how odd that was.
I wrote her a card
I know were not really friends, I dont know what you think of me, and frankly I dont really care what you think of me. But I just thought I would let you know that your not alone... I know your upset I`ve been there too, I just wanted to let you know I`m hear if you need to talk. About anything, I`ve lost a lot of people I love. But I`m hear... for anything... if you need someone to talk to or yell at or hit. I really dont care if you need anything I`m hear.
I bit my lip how would I sine it then I knew on an instant how too so I put
jordan scare, personal teddy bear
I laughed to myself, then left the not on her bed stand I went to cyristals room next... she wasent there eather. I wroght basicly the same note to her as well.
Then I went to zuri`s room she was there she called for me to come in I put the notes in my pocket and walked in she was on her bed just laying there staring at the cealing.
"hay" she said looking at me
I just stude there in silince
"so... I just wanted to say that if you wanted to talk about anything... or even if you wanted someone to I dont know hit or yell and scream at that I`m hear"
"why would I yell and scream at you"