When Ash's lips came down on mine, I knew the old Natalie's reaction would have been to jerk away. To resist. But that part of me was what I'd overcome in Spain. I'd fallen in love with someone who I knew and trusted would never hurt me the way Adam did.
But even through that truth I'd been living, the passion I'd felt everytime Ash touched me didn't fire through my veins. This was the third time we were kissing, and in that point in a relationship, we should both be so...intimate. Like every touch was our first. But all I could do was stay still.
I wasn't rejecting Ash. But I wasn't accepting his kiss either. That's what made him pull away. Sighing, anger teetered on the edge of release as he watched me with worried eyes, frowning.
"Why are you doing this to yourself?" Emotions holding themselves just barely in his voice, pain and regret.
"You don't understand," I whispered.
"Then help me to." He answered, eyes searching mine for an answer.
Tightening my fist, I let the words slip out of my mouth, knowing that the truth might hurt him but it was best for him to know. "Ash, ever since I saw Adam again, I feel the old memories flood back in. It's too hard for me to take."
"Please let me finish," I interrupted, holding up a hand. Ash nodded, pursing his lips. "What Adam had done to me in the past will always leave me scarred. And I love you. But I just don't...I don't think I'm ready to be...physical in any way with you. I'm so sorry Ash."