I winced in pain as I slept on my side, my wrist grazing the mattress. The scars wouldn't fade for a long time, and I knew that Ash would probably take me to the doctor tommorow for a tetanus shot so the wounds wouldn't become septic and poison me.
Yet I wished I could just die. That would make it easier on everyone right? On Ash - he wouldn't have to see me like this. On Adam - he could finally forget about me and go bother some other girl. And for me - ultimate release. But I knew if Ash thought I was actually thinking along these lines, he'd be even more angry and that was the last thing I wanted.
I love Ash. He's been through so much and was able to find his way through his own difficulties during the vacation in Spain. That had been both our purposes - to take a break from life and find our way back. Ash had done that from his sisters' death. And I thought I'd been able to do so with Adam.
Giving myself and my heart to Ash was the cure. He'd filled that whole in my heart. But I didn't realize how much I still felt empty and hurt until I saw Adam again. Now all I wanted was to get away.