My feet gave way and my knees crashed onto the torn pavement. Rats scuttled out of the gutter, and smoke twisted into the blue skies causing it to turn grey. I held my ears shut. It was so loud, and I didn’t want to hear anything, but I could hear everything; the twittering of the mice as their tiny paws scratched the smouldering rock, the dying flames flickering in the breeze, the howling wind crying for its planet, and a voice. A human’s voice, I think.
""Don't worry.....you out......... Hold On! Someone screamed in the distance. There had to have been other survivors, and they were close. They couldn’t have been too far away; my ears wouldn’t have picked it up if they were.
My eyes searched frantically for any sign of movement, I could see so clearly, the rocks, the charred billboard and the remains of an old GAP Store, I could even see colours I had never imagined, but no sign of life.
I ran frantically towards the chaos, looking, crying for someone, anyone with answers.
‘Am I hearing voices in my head now?! Was that voice a hallucination? Was Norah dead now? Was I going to die? Am I the last man alive?’ Thoughts erupted in my mind. They turned more depressing. ‘What happened to my parents? I don’t even know if I had any, but yesterday, there was always the slight chance of meeting them, now, there was none...Would I ever experience love, get married, lead a normal life, with kids, maybe a dog, somewhere on the coast in California? Maybe if I did not drink so damn much, I would have had a boyfriend, one who loved me..., is there no chance left? Can I still make my life worth something if there is nothing to make it worth with?’
I burst into tears and crumpled to the floor in agony. I was alone. I had never felt such a deep urge for a good bottle of Black Label. Just drink my lungs out, and put all my pains and fears to sleep.
I’m going to die, alone, with no one. Just a piece of trash..why, why WHY!?" I thought to myself, over and over again, till my thoughts grew louder than the noise around.
"WHY ME!?" WHY ME, GOD, OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU COULD HAVE SAVED, ME?!?!" I yelled in my head, banging my fists on the decrepit wall that stood, shaking weekly. The wall groaned, and crashed to the ground. I picked at the remains, and began to laugh cynically. I fell flat on my stomach and laughed, swore a thousand times, and banged my fists to the floor yelling and screaming, throwing a tantrum....I needed someone, anyone to tell me I was not alone. Then, I thought, that if there was no one left, I was useless. I was going to be alone forever. I did not want that....I thought of simply dying, killing myself to prevent further pain.
I began to scramble on the ground in a desperate attempt to search for something sharp enough to pierce through my skin, sharp enough to end my useless existence.