Your FuneralMature

Samiel sat on the couch while the scent of tomatoes filtered into the room. She looked up at me, standing in the doorway to Elioth’s room.

“Hungry?” she asked.

“Not really” I hadn’t exactly been all that hungry since Elioth died but I’d been eating enough to get by.

“You need to eat” she frowned.

I shrugged and she stood up, walking over to me.

“Calm your heart. Eliot would not want it to rage in pain” she said, putting her hand to my cheek.

And that means what, exactly? I kept my mouth shut and she kissed my cheek, disappearing off into the kitchen. I slumped onto the couch, content to just act like a pissy teenager til I felt better. I got the feeling Samiel wasn’t exactly going to let me, though. She came back with a plate of spaghetti and meatballs. Wonderful. I didn’t touch it. She sighed and sat next to me, spearing a meatball with a fork and winding some spaghetti around it.

“Open up”

I’m not a fucking child. I kept my mouth clamped shut and she sighed again, dropping the fork back on the plate and stormed off into Elioth’s room, slamming the door behind her. It took a few minutes for it to register where exactly she’d gone. But when it hit me, it hit hard.

“Get out of there” I said almost murderously as I threw open the door.

She was sat cross-legged in the centre of the room, crying her eyes out. I felt a little guilty for snapping at her. It wasn’t just me that lost someone when Elioth died.

“Please” I said a little softer.

“No” she whispered.

“Please, Samiel”

“Don’t you understand? He’s the only person who ever truly loved me. I miss him but you’re not even trying to live for him”

“I haven’t ‘lived’ in a long time, Samiel” Too long, if you ask me.

“I’ve not lived longer” she chuckled. “I had burger the other day. Nasty, it was. Elioth said to have one when I heard he was dead. Said it’d make me feel better... It didn’t”

I kind of shrugged. You’re telling me this why, exactly? She looked up at me from her spot on the floor.

“What?” I asked, confused.

And then she just got up and walked off. What the fuck? Women, don’t have ‘em, they do nothing but confuse you. She stopped, kissing my cheek and fucked off back to the kitchen. Can someone please explain to me what’s going on? I slumped on the couch again as I heard frying coming from the kitchen. She wandered in after a while with a plate of spicy fried chicken.

“Will you eat that?”

“I’m not hungry”

She sighed and went back into the kitchen. “Fine, try again”

“Samiel, I’m not hungry”

“Well I’m saying you need to eat”

“I’ll eat when I’m hungry”

She turned. “Look at yourself!”

I did so. I just looked like the usual old me.

“You look like a corpse”

I frowned. “How do I look like a corpse?”

“You’re dead inside. I see it in your eyes”

I rolled my eyes and she shook her head.

“Fine, don’t eat” she said and went back into Elioth’s room, locking the door behind her.

I stormed into my own room, pissed off at everyone and everything. “Death, you fucker, I know you can hear me so get your ass up here”

“Hello, Robin. Wanna go bowling?” he asked as he appeared.

“No” I scowled.

He shrugged. “What’s up?”

“Apparently I’m dead on the inside. I figure you’d know most about it what with being Death and all”

He sighed. “You’re losing hope, basically. It will kill you”


“Samiel could restore that, you know” he said, randomly deciding to start juggling a few screaming souls. Dude, seriously? I scowled and he shrugged again. “Elioth wants that, you know? He won’t leave limbo, dumb crowder”

“Well I don’t want her”

“You do in your soul. Well, your soul does”

“I don’t have a soul”

“Technically not. I have it” he said, a black soul pulsing in his hand. I nodded at it. “This is little Robin” he said, holding a white, airy soul in his other hand. “This is little Samiel”. The pulsing from both souls started to focus towards each other. “Tada!”


Death chuckled and the souls vanished. “Face the truth”

“The truth can suck my dick”

Death shrugged. “Your funeral”

And with that he vanished in his usual burst of ash.

“Hey, get back here! I’m in the mod for a good, hard fuck”

The End

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