Why hasn't she seen it yet? It's right in front of her! She must be an idiot, for all those brains. I'm sending her the message in everything I say, everything I do, everything I've written. I try and draw her attention to it, but her gaze slides right over, like it just never occurred to her that I could feel that way.
Okay. We'll try it another way. Why don't I just tell her? Show her?
And she's still not even looking. Like all of that never happened. It's like she's pretending we're who we were a week ago. Is it that painful to remember? Have I screwed her up that much? Or is she just trying to be tactful, to skim over in case she upsets me or makes me feel like I have to answer awkward questions?
Damn. I wish she'd be a little less considerate. I want her to talk to me about it, to confront me. Then I'll have a chance to tell her. But do I? Because then people might find out. I'm not sure I want her to. I want her to know, but I don't know if I do. I don't know. It's so obvious. Why hasn't she seen?
Do I want her to see?
I guess maybe she doesn't want to. Maybe that's why she's pretending it never happened. But man, I can't pretend any more, I just can't. I know it shouldn't be like this, because this is so screwed up and wrong, but I just can't help it.
None of us ever can, can we?
Please... why can't she see?