OK. So, two weeks into meeting the guy, he told you that we couldn't be friends because he was jealous of me...er 4200km...away. Yeah, true, that kind of made me raise an eyebrow, but you were in a spot, and sometimes the best thing to do is just let things progress. And you made that choice. I got it.
Now, we're talking again, and I appreciate the fact that we are, because even though you don't know it, like your family, I'm always glad to see you. It's almost like you've been isolated away from everybody.
So, go on. You say it was a day short of a year ago, oh, tomorrow's your anniversary? Or would have been. Gotcha. You're broken up? And you know that because? Aaaah. He called you a b*tch and a w*ore, kicked you out of his car, says he doesn't love you anymore, and left you in -14 weather at 11 o'clock at night. That seems really mad.
Who's Kyle again? Oh, Kyle is Dave's friend, Dave's his name right, OK and you were at Kyle's Mom's place. Kyle just got out of jail, yeah, following, and you and Dave are at hims Mom's place. Why?
Kyle just got out of jail, ok, and that's where he's staying. He's 25. You're 33 now? And Dave? Gotcha, 36. Just keeping up. Pardon? Kyle was really drunk, OK, happens, and he was pissing his Mom off, how again? he what? Oh, he was all luvvy trying to kiss her on her cheek, his Mom on the cheek, and she was having none of it. Wait. OK. So, he starts crying and goes outside, yup. Sadly, this is making sense. Oh, nothing, the cat was in my s*it. Go on.
So, you go outside because he's crying, of course that was the right thing to do! I can see you doing it - that's what you do, you wanted to console him, friend of Dave's friend of yours ri...? WHAT?! He stormed after you? What did he say? Whore? He called you a whore. He thought you wanted to have a quickie with Kyle in the car.
I thought the two of you were getting married! You're trying to have kids. That's strange behaviour - I mean, ______, you've never cheated on anyone in your life. Yeah, I get that he's been cheated on before, sure, insecurity's a bit of a big deal, but I mean...marriage...OK...go on, sorry, so, this is what led to him throwing a two day fit, and eventually leaving you stranded and freezing on a dark country road, no, no, sorry, not judging...what's a sore back have to do with it? Wait. Where are you staying anynow?
So, your sister is going to pick you up at your friend Amy's. That's good. What does she think? She will let you stay there?...right...if he says it's actually over...OK...what about college...how would you get there? Your sister and her husband will buy you a car if you stay there? That's awful nice. Yeah, family, I know, why are you p_ssed at your brother - he promised not to tell your parents about this - and then e-mailed them right away? Ouch. Bet they're not to ha...Well, it's not like this kind of thing happens all the time, right? Oh, three times before...three times before? Three big fights? Stranded like this three times before, whoa, he's kicked you out of the car....I'm just trying to follow along, no, I'm not...
OK, so he only gets like this when he's on percacets, broke his back a long time ago- ouch - and he takes four instead of two, and usually only once a week, on Fridays, have you talked to him about this? Sounds like...oh, it's no use, you've tried, and he'll never give them up? Seems weird that he can handle the pain the rest of the week, though, I just don't get it.
It's OK, you weren't supposed to tell me about his methadone treatment, so, he was addicted to oxycotin and had to go to rehab, sounds like the percs are a substitute for that...
Whoa. No need to yell, and no, I <i>don't<i> know what it feels like to have a back that wasn't set properly -- probably quite painful. So, he gets these mood swings on the percacets, about once a week...and that's when he calls you a 'b*tch' and a 'whore', and puts you down.
I don't know why he hasn't called yet - I know you want to go home, sure, he's your home, no, personally, I wouldn't call him and ask if you're really through -- OK, I'll hold on.
Jeez, _______-, are you serious? He cleaned out your bank account. Come ON. Still, four hundred bucks is four hundred bucks.
And on and on and on these glaring indicators that her family can see, but she's too pushed down in that dark place to even see it.
Here, take this - I printed it off for you, read it tomorrow.
And I can no longer continue writing this because it's all true. All of it. And he will call her, because this is part of THE GAME he is so good at. A reminder that she is nothing without him. And she will go back.
Lucky to have seen someone who has been a friend for years, if only for a day, knowing she's lost to an abusive, controlling relationship.
What a world.
What a f**ed up world.