Lookitcha. Just lookitcha. Standin' up sittin down. Kneel. God's little game of Simon says. Every Sunday you people, you know what, not even Sunday, Christmas Eve, now there's a blast, the whole town's suddenly quite faithful on Christmas Eve, yeah like the Sabbath is , what, God created the Earth in 364 days and on December 24th he rested?
OK, let's do this. I'll tell you all how to live your sorry lives, isn't that the game? Look at you, Roger and Emma Burton, faithful attendees, faithful couple, that's a different story. I married you two, took ya two weeks, Roger to frig that up. And for her? Sally Noggins, the organ player? Yeah, yeah, whatever, should have been Catholic if you wanted that to be kept a secret.
So, let me tell you somethin about God. He's not going to change your lives. There's this little book here, see it, yeah, the one I read from every week. What is this, kindergarten class? You people can read. It's a guidebook. This fashion show of a convention is below me, it's below God, just honestly, take a look at yourselves.
And the collection plate? If anything it's proof that people still carry nickles, at least to church. Think I work for free? Let's say a prayer,
"Dear God, these people are the most undeserving, unrepentant beasts of burden I've ever catered to. Please bring me a new congregation. Amen? Amen.