Journal entry, December 24th 2012.
I lied to my dad... I'm so nervous but the tracker on my phone only works if there is wifi. So I turned the data off and blocked wifi so Dad wouldn't know that I wasn't really going to Sydney's house. I was actually going to Steven's with Sydney. Atleast I wouldn't go to a Christmas party alone. I've never been to a party, well I mean I've been to parties, just not like a populars party. With drinking and crap. I knew some people who were going, like one of my guy friends Dom, and Jo... And or Steven. That was a shocker to me. But when he kissed me, I knew it was him. I'm falling harder than ever before, and I think I'm ready. We still talk on the phone every night, and I want to be with him so bad. So I think I'm going to hint at him that he should ask me out. Then I'm going to, as Sierrah would call, Do the do... hahaha Sierrah moved and I miss her so bad... I actually cried when she left. I can't wait till I tell her about Steven Joe, she's going to freak!
I haven't ever been this nervous in Syd's Fiat ever. Allow me to explain that statement. Every time I get into Syd's everything gets real calm in my mind. Mostly every time I leave the house. I hate being home... Anyway, tonight was different, and Syd was trying to calm me down.
"Dude calm down. He already kissed you, it's obvious that he's going to ask you out. It's okay Guinn. You're one of those people who freak out for nothing. Just take a few breathes and stop freaking out, you're making me nervous."
We pulled into the neighborhood and it was obvious whose house to go to... Every one and their brother had come to this party. Good thing we weren't the first ones to show up, I'd feel like a total loser. Before we came here Syd saw me freaking out and told me we would go around ten, then she let me borrow some clothes. Good thing we both have massive boobs, otherwise I wouldn't have fit anything in her closet. I put on a strapless bra with studs around the top edges and a black see through mid drift button up. I let my cleavage come out a little... I'm obviously advertising for something... Whatever.
Sh parked next to the side walk and we walked to the front door. Which was just sitting wide open... Streamers were all over the floor and ever corner of the house was full of teens making out, drinking, dancing, talking. It was a hormonal sesspool. To top it all off there was a pool in the back... I knew I should have brought a bikini or something, but I didn't know. I didn't text Steven before coming, because I was nervous and I wanted to surprise him sort of... I made it seem like I probably couldn't come. I'm so mean. ha.
Syd grabbed two illegal cups of beer and handed me one, I smelled it and gagged. Syd laughed at me,"You don't have to drink it, just hold it. looks like you're supposed be here." She knew more about scenes than I did. She was a floater, just hung out with anyone. No groups held her down. She wasn't a nerd, she was actually the coolest person I've ever talked to except Steven. But my opinion on Steven was biased because I liked him before I knew he was a somebody. Why in the world would this somebody like this nobody? I don't know. But the Universe was in my favor and I was going to take advantage of the time.
My hair was getting a little sweaty on the back of my neck, but I didn't want to put it up... I looked in the mirror and wiped some eye liner off my bottom eyelid. I looked pretty good in my opinion. I fixed my boobs and made them perk up a little more, smiled and wiped the lipstick off, I didn't want to be over done... I drank some water and took a deep breath, looked to Syd,"I'm goin in." She laughed and gave me a high five,"Go hard my little whore!"
I went into the crowed, said hi to people I recognized. Two guys on the football team, Brad and David... They cornered me, one of them had their hand on the wall in a flirty pose. I felt really uncomfortable and buttoned up my shirt a little more,"What are you doin here?"
"Umm.. You know, livin it up?" I slapped myself in the face inside my imagination,"Dumb ass."
"Ahh.. Yeah I see that, Why don't you come hang with us?"
I receded further into the corner, if that was even possible. I felt like I walked myself into a gangbang... I didn't want to make a scene so I giggled fake,"Nah, I'm waiting for someone."
"Who? We can help you find them, pretty girl like you shouldn't be alone."
I could taste the fire breath in the air and gagged,"No really, I was told to wait right here" I lied.
"Why don't we wait here with you? Till they get here... Maybe we can be friends?"
I laughed under my breath and took a sip of my beer, regretted it, but swallowed. I don't mind alcohol, it's just beer... It tastes nasty to me. Anyway, as the douche bags continued to hard hit on me, I was desperate for saving and running out of my nasty ass drink. Just in time Steven walks over with two cups,"Hey, uh.. Guinn. Ha I got you a drink."
He handed me a drink of clear liquid. I thought it was water and took a deep drink to get the taste of beer out of my mouth... Steven stopped me before I spit it out all over the floor when I realized it was Vodka,"Woah, not all at once haha babe you're a light weight." I swallowed anyway and coughed. Brad and David laughed and stumbled off because I had been claimed, they said some defeated drunk exit phrase but I didn't pay any attention to what it was.
Steven half smiled at me and I bit my lip. He took my hand,"Come on, I'll show you around." I followed him and left my cup on a table, then with my free hand, unbuttoned my shirt a little again. I saw syd and I was being lead upstairs and she was waving at me then giving me a thumbs up.
I smiled, blushed and followed Steven to the upstairs rooms. He squeezed my hand gently and all my nerves melted away. I smiled at my Bubby and giggled under my breath. I was playing dumb. I was also having very many dirty thoughts. But that was probably the Vodka speaking. I nearly downed the whole damn cup and as Steven had said I am a light weight...
He opened his bedroom door; he had cleaned it up for me I could tell, he even managed to vacuum for me. I giggled again and sat on his bed. He sat next to me and touched my face softly,"Hi." I said closing my eyes before he came closer to kissing me,"Hey." He said.
He kissed me softly and held my face in his hands. I felt like he was claiming me, but he hadn't asked the big one. But I didn't want to bug him about something as stupid as labels so I let it go and continued to kiss him. I began to explore my boundaries by laying my hand on his leg. He moved his hands around my torso and pulled me aggressively closer to him, whilst pushing me down at the same time. He was on me now and rubbing his hands up my shirt,"You're so bad wearing a shirt like that to tease me..."
I gasped for air and held his face and looked at him,"What are we doing?" I said laughing light heartily and kissed him again.
He began to kiss me softer and touching my skin with his finger tips, my skin got all goose bumpy and I shivered,"Are you cold? you're shaking... are you scared? we don't have to do anything you don't want to." I rubbed my hand against his leg bravely and smiled at him,"shh.. I'm just excited.. I twitch when I get turned on."
"mm.. good, don't be scared of me okay?"
I rubbed my legs against his and I could feel his cock against my thigh. He moaned softly,"Gahh you're so tempting."
"Good." I said.
He kissed me once more and started to unbutton my shirt slowly, then kissed my belly, then he kissed my ribs and fondled my chest in his big hands.
"I love you..." He said between a kiss.
I caught my breath when he moved my bra and sucked my nipple softly,"I-I Love you too.. mmm..."