Don't join this Colab unless you are Steven Joseph Rivers Adams. This is me and my boy role playing so I don't need more people adding to it. Just us two, but feel free to comment and rate.
Journal entry, November 1st 2012.
Today I got bored and went onto this chat website. Not really sure why, just enjoy talking to strangers. Most of the guys on here just jerk off to tit pics, but I don't really have any interest in sending anything to anyone at the moment. I met one guy in particular... He hasn't really said much yet, only that he lives in my area... Kinda weird how that part worked out. Is this going to be some romance that unravels from a happenstance? Or is this guy going to rape me...? Anyway, I gave him my email and we started messaging. He's really cool. Super nice. Well at least he seems nice. His name is Steven. It's safe to say we've started to become friends. He actually accepts me the way I am, and talks to me. It's new to me.
First hour sucks. All the jocks on the football team are in one class. How can their be this much air heads in one room? I swear Jo Adams is the worst of them all. He is basically their leader. stereotype Quarterback captain of the football team. Tall dark, dark long flowing hair and huge muscles. Only God knows how big a package he's got. With luck he's super tiny but he gets by on knowing what he's doing. Everyone knows he's a man whore... He basically has been with every other girl in this class room besides me. And why would I want to be with him anyway? He's just another guy who walks around like he owns the place... But It's sort of lame... He really is attractive. I find my self staring stupid. To my embarrassment he noticed me a stared right back at me. I did the only quick witted thing I could... I flipped him off. Ha. But as soon as he turned back around; pretending to pay attention is my bet, because most jocks are sacks of shit who don't know anything. I continue dorkily crushing on him... Shamefully day dreaming about him pushing me against the desk and plowing into me. God damn I need to stop! I shook back into my mind and noted that Jo was actually doing his work.
Could it be possible that I was wrong? Maybe he wasn't stupid, I mean I guess I never noticed it but he probably has better grades than me... But he's still a man whore. AND speaking of Whores... His Fuck Buddy walks in. Sterlla Devins... Tall, lean, blonde, money, boobs... The works. This little she witch was the school most likely to get pregnant. possible Baby daddy? You guessed it, JO! She carried on walking across the classroom, late of course, completely oblivious that class was in. She sat in Jo's lap and rubbed his chest and kissed his neck. I saw him blush as he pushed her away slowly. Not wanting to make a scene I guess. Probably because these two weren't actually dating. Jo never really showed any sort of affection to any of the schools ho bags. He sometimes hugged them, slapped his team mates asses, but not once have I seen him invest his attention to anyone.
Why am I paying this much attention to this boy? I look down at my desk, just in time because as I was looking down, Sterlla looked straight at me and walked over to my desk. She slapped her hand on the desk," Hey nerd... Where's the answers?" I looked at my half finished math assignment and my face flushed. Jo looked over his shoulder,"Chill out Sterlla I got em." She strutted back over to him and lay herself over his shoulders,"Oh you're so smart." She cooed. I gathered my things, as the bell was about to ring. Jo looked straight at me. I blushed slightly and asked,"what?" He stood up and threw his bag over his shoulder. He stood a foot above me and smiled a little, then his smile faded,"Hey... Uh, Guinn, right?" he asked casually. I looked at him with confusion,"Yes?" He scratched the back of his neck and look behind me,"Sorry, is all... If I you know... and for Sterlla, it's just how she is." I held my bag in one hand and slapped his arm playfully,"Don't worry Jo. Didn't even phase me." I walked off ignoring him and continued to my next class. One more hour then off to lunch, this day couldn't be moving by any slower... I braced through Gym class, as the jocks were in my class, yet again.
Jo sat alone during Gym, watching his boys play tackle foot ball on the field. Today we had our class outside. It was really nice out so I took my shoes off and walked around on the hot astro turf. Jo was texting on his phone... Why did I keep looking over at him to see what he was doing? What was my obsession with him? I decided to stop because anything with him, even a fling, would never happen in a million years. I was the school nerd, and not even a smart one. Just one that likes weird things and avoided social events.
I was bored of watching cave men jump on each other. So I wandered to my bag and grabbed my phone from the side pocket. The sunlight glared on my screen making the newest message not visible. I turned up the brightness and then clicked on my messages. Steven had messaged me.
,"Hey." He had said. I smiled to myself and replied.
"What's up?" I said.
after a short minuet I had a new message. I enjoyed how he always texted back quickly. It always made me feel important.
,"oh you know... Just school. you?"
Our boring conversation wasn't really going anywhere. Probably because he had a lot on his mind or maybe he was busy. eventually I suckered him into a meaningful conversation about our livelihoods. I talked about the jocks running around together, and even mentioned the embarrassing crush I had on one of them, being smart to leave out names in case Steven knew anyone I was talking about. He did live in the same area.
While I waited for Steven to message me back I day dreamed about maybe meeting him someday... He was the kind of guy I could see myself with. But I don't really feel like I'm even aloud to say if I like him or not. Maybe in a few months of knowing him... Sydney, my best friend, always told me that if I mention feelings too early it makes me look creepy. She said,"Always wait at least two months before saying anything. Plus whats wrong with having a bunch of guy friends, it's less drama and not hard at all." So Steven and I were just friends for now. He sounded so interesting. Something about him drew me to him... I barely know him, I haven't even seen his face yet. But tonight I had a plan to get him to call me so I can hear his voice... Maybe then I could see his personality a little bit more.
The bell rang loudly, ringing in my ears painfully. I covered my ears and grabbed my bag. I threw my shoes in my bag and decided to go hippie for the last few hours. Lunch awaited me.
I walked across the parking lot. The pavement was warm against my soles and the stones in it pressed against my feet. I loved being barefoot... I don't know why, just love the feeling of it. I hate shoes, it's like binding my feet in a hot sweaty blanket. Jo saw me and his face cringed. I blushed heavily and looked at him,"What?"
"where are your shoes?"
I looked down at my small bare feet,"Does it matter?"
He looked thuroughly grossed out,"You're gunna get worms or some shit... That's fuckin nasty."
I shrugged,"That's my problem." I walked off and ignored him again.
The floor in the halls was cool... I absolutely loved it. I walked into the cafeteria and sat by syd,"Where's your shoes bud?" She said jokingly.
"mm.. Decided to be a hippie today."
"Alright... Dork." she said.
Aubrey sitting across from me looked over my shoulder and gawked,"Oh my God.. Jo was totally looking at you Guinn!"
I stuck my tongue out,"eh..."
"Eh? He's so hot! you have like every class with him... I hate you."
"He's a man whore... Just tell him you wanna fuck and he'll take you to his truck. Even though he's dating that bitch Mackenzie. I hope she gets fat and dies in a hole." I slouched in my seat and stared off into the distance. Syd hit my ribs with her elbo,"Guinn you need to get a boyfriend. You're getting real mean."
"Oh whatever. I don't need anybody. Well..."
"Well?" syd repeated, "What? well what?"
"I started talking to someone online. Now before you say anything he is real. He goes to school here, I just don't know who it is... yet."
Syd shook me,"WHAT?! Why didn't you tell me whore! what's he look like? Tell me!"
I laughed,"I don't know yet, we've only started talking recently, We're not on a picture sending basis yet. But I will keep you posted. I promise."
Syd let the whole thing go and Aubrey continued to talk about all the guys she's been with and about how much she knows about dating and shit. when she literally knows nothing because if she did she'd hold a boyfriend longer... But I ignored her and texted Steven. We were in our own little world. He was having a hard day. Poor guy...
After Seventh hour I walked to Syd's car and on the way to her car I stopped on the grass and stood there stupid,"Syd... Oh my god kill me now." Syd came up behind me and pretended to slit my throat,"Why?", "Look..." I said pointing quickly,"He's shirtless... I'm going to literally die he's so fuckin hot sydney!"
Sydney laughed and punched my arm,"Come on man. Stop drooling over Jo." I pouted fake and laughed at the same time,"But. But. Hot..." I said while stepping into her little red fiat.
When I got home I went straight to my laptop and sent Steven a witty message like,"Miss me?" and He replied quickly,"Yes..."
I love this kid seriously, He always makes me feel needed. He was such a breath of fresh air after a long day at school. I could only wish that I could have a little more though... I wish I could see him, or something. So I finally asked if he could call me. Surprisingly he said yes and said he would call me an hour later after practice. He played a sport, he wouldn't tell me which one but it narrowed him down to a sports team. Too bad there was so damn many. But I figured I 'd figure it out eventually, maybe if I hear his voice I'll recognize him.
When he finally called I was a wreck. I had been waiting nervously for hours it seemed, it was really only one hour, but it felt like forever. His voice was deep and soft, a little raspy. I cursed the sky quietly because I had no clue who it could be. He even asked and I slapped myself on the forehead and said,"Nope." He replied,"Good... I don't know I like that you don't know me yet. You'd treat me different if you knew who I was." I lay back and talked to him for hours. He didn't know who I was but he guessed what kind of person I was in our cliqued out school system.
"Let me see..." his voice hummed softly,"I bet you're a nerd. You seem like one. Am I right? I mean I think you're cool. You don't seem weird to me, but you are." He laughed,"Does that make sense at all?"
I laughed softly and my head began to float. I felt like I was giving so much of me away to this guy and I didn't know who he was. But a part of me didn't really care. I wanted to give myself away. Not just sexually. But eventually we got to that topic.
I admitted,"I'm still a virgin. Go ahead make fun of me." I laughed.
"No, that's good. You're not another whore. I like that."
The way he said,"I like that." made me have the craziest sex fantasy on the spot. Him breathing against my ear,"I like that. yeah... ah baby you're bad." I shook my fantasy away and talked to Steven for another two hours. Eventually it was around two in the morning and we were both getting tired. But I was also severely turned on. But I never told him, I didn't want to become a one night stand, or freak him out. But as the night died down and I was trying to say goodbye, his voice became soft. I could literally feel his voice touching my shoulder softly. Him kiss my ear almost,"Wait..." He said,"I feel so dumb... Don't be wierded out okay?" I closed my eyes and drowned in his softness of breath in my ear. My stomach clenched and my heart twisted. My thigh twitched slightly as I asked,"What is it?"
"Promise you wont be freaked?" He asked.
I shook my head stupidly,"I promise."
"It's just that I feel alone right now, and I really want someone to hold right now. I know that probably sounds really dumb. But... We're friends right? can you stay on the phone with me?"
The black wall fell on me at the word friend. I felt friend zoned. But I smiled softly and lay on my pillow as if it were his chest,"Sure Steven... I'll stay on the phone with you. Just to sleep right?"
He answered,"Yeah... Just to sleep. It'd help me sleep a lot."
We eventually fell asleep. I listened to the sound of him breathing deeply. I was falling... Before I knew it I was being held in my imagination by a man I had never seen.
In the midst of our sleeping I heard him wake up... It sounded like he was crying. I peered into the darkness at the wall, as if his face would be there, I could feel his sadness,"Steven?" He sniffed,"Yeah?" His voice cracked.
"What's the matter? are you okay?"
"I had a nightmare..."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No... not really sorry..."
"That's okay... Do you want me to hold you?"
I felt myself pull the pillow closer to me,"It's okay..."
His breathing went back to the way it was when he slept and I fell into a deep sleep. Saturday was already here. I had officially invested my whole Friday night to cuddling through a phone... I had only one wish. That it was real and not on the phone.