I indicated for James to take a seat, as I stood before him. I paced as I talked, avoiding eye contact. It seemed the easiest way to get everything out. Despite having to refer to my fellow spies in my story, I was careful to not refer to them by name.
I began by explaining how my mother had died when I was just a babe, and my father had raised me himself, apart from a few tours of duty in the military. There was no other immediate family to speak of, and for so long it had been just my father and I, and Moira. They were all I had, and I was all my father had.
My father had done his best to ensure I got a ladylike education of course, spending many seasons at court, though he didn't push too hard when I suggested we leave the court for a span in the countryside. While getting a husband was obviously something he knew I would have to do, I could tell he would offer no protest to my delaying the fact. It had been just us for so long, and I knew that he didn't want another man taking me away just yet.
And then my dear father, my protective and warm and caring father had received a letter. The hostilities were now a full blown war and he was to ride away at once and take up his position as a general. I had two choices - either I could return with Moira to court or I could remain in the countryside. Both held little appeal, but I was a woman, and a noble woman at that. I had to know my place. I belonged at home and hearth, or in the glittering life of the court, not on a battlefront or in danger. So I had stayed at home.
I had been going out of my mind with worry and boredom when I had made some friends, and through them met a messenger for the army. They weren't the type of people I was supposed to be friends with, not the scheming women of court. Rather they were more honest, simple country people, people who I honestly liked. Being friends had helped eased the boredom and worry, for a little bit at least.
And then the army messenger had come up with this scheme, this exciting yet dangerous scheme in which I could help. I could do something to aid the war effort, and maybe bring it to an end. I could do something which might make my father more safe. Who was I to say no to such a chance.
"And that's how I came to be here. It all moved rather quickly after the messenger suggested the plan," I finished, turning to face the silent James.
James sat staring at me again, as if trying to decide whether to believe my story. Once again I felt panicked by his silence. Despite believing deep inside that I could trust him, he could still decide to turn me in for the sake of his country.
"Please say something," I pleaded, for the second time since James had arrived.