"Brandon help me, please"
I begged Brandon, Ethan's best friend as we twirled around the dance floor.
"Is it me?" My voice broke. Brandon shook his head repeatedly and with condemnation interrupted me.
"No, don't ever say that or think that Emily. You're the best thing in his life. You're absolutely beautiful and every single man in this banquets eyes are on you." I scoffed. "Every single mans eyes except the one that I love"
He turned and looked around still holding me. He sighed as he noticed Ethan at the bar. A woman with a blood red dress had her hand on his back as she sat beside him. "Well he's a fool"
His best friend couldn't even defend him anymore.
We danced a few more times before my heels starting aching me and I decided to sit down. Brandon gave me a sympathetic smile as his eyes were laced with pity. I waved at him "I'll be fine"
I walked towards the restroom and looked at myself in the mirror. My red lipstick was still intact. My makeup was still perfect and my hair was only a little bit disheveled. My body was looking beautiful in the dress yet I couldn't see it.
He was the only one that made me question my beauty. He was the best and worst mistake I have ever done.
Why am I still with him?
Even though every single nerve in my body is aching and begging me to leave, my heart is stubborn and forcing me to stay.
"Right here will be perfect"
I told the cab driver watching him cleanly park at the sidewalk. "Thank you"
I pay him and don't even bother fake a smile leaving the cab. I spot a newsagent and make my way towards it. My heels clacking on the road as I get nearer.
I reach to the till and do something I promised myself I would never do again five years ago. "A packet of Marlboro please"
I pay and hold the packet in shaking hands. It fits perfectly in my palms and the nostalgia almost overtakes me. "Are you okay?" The young man that sold me the packet asks with hesitation. I realise I have been looking down at it for too long and look up at him. "You wouldn't happen to have a lighter would you?"
He nods repeatedly and hands it to me.
I light it with a lenient fluency and close my eyes, feeling the flow of smoke drift inside of me. Licking up my lungs and playfully treading through my bloodstream. With my eyes still closed I blow out the smoke, exceptionally slow, feeling it relax me. "Thank you"
I hand him the lighter and turn to leave.
"You can keep it"
I turn and leave.
I walk down the busy street as the wind licks my hair making me hold onto my long black coat for comfort.
If only this was made for more use than a fashion accessory I could maybe get warmth out of it.
With my heels in my hands, I walk on the grass which offers a refreshing coldness. I find myself in a park and decide to walk until this cigarette turns to ash already regretting not taking the lighter.