After that day with Robbie, I was mixed up on what to do. Being pulled by both sides was painful. I didn't want to hurt him and I didn't want to hurt Will either. Sure, I wasn't quite used to being a lesbian but that isn't excuse enough to make me break up with her, or worse, cheat on her. Robbie knew this and he tried to help me through it. He gave me the space I wanted but by the way he looked at me, I knew he wanted the whole of me for himself. We both did.
So when it was Will who called off the relationship, it was more then just a shock. It was completely mind-numbing. I didn't know what to say as I stared up at her, at a loss for words. She waited for a reaction, the tears to start sprouting out my eyes but that's exactly what didn't happen. Instead, I gave her a sober smile.
Her jaw dropped open when I said this and she gaped at me. "Excuse me?"
I frowned. "Isn't that what you wanted to hear from me?"
"Yes but...I didn't think you'd give into it so easily..." Her eyes drifted to Robbie who was seated in the room, watching us intensely. He looked away the moment Will made eye contact, and the sudden recognition in her eyes made me nervous.
I bit on my lower lip as she started questioning me. "Does it have anything to do with him?"
I nodded slowly to which her eyes flared, anger making its way across her face. She turned her back to me and started walking away but I quickly took hold of her hand, pulling her back to face me.
"Will wait. I can explain."
"So you were just using me all along?" She spat, glaring with hate.
"Of course not! I didn't mean for it to happen. It's just being with him is...different."
That was the wrong word to have said. Immediately, I got a reaction from her. She narrowed her eyes at me and turned around completely, staring me down.
"How different? Good different?"
I shook my head madly. "No, what I meant is-"
"I don't need to hear anything Alex. We're over now okay. That's all there is to it."
And without another word, she walked away without looking back. A cold numbness washed over me as I watched her go. It was all my fault. Completely. Though she was the one to approach me and call it off, it must have been because I wasn't the 'right' girlfriend for her.
I walked back into the room slowly. The tears didn't come as I sat back down next to Robbie who pulled me into a hug. Why? I never wanted any of this drama in my life. All I wanted was to have a good time. But things always managed to get screwed up.