My lunch had been a short and quick one. I'd ordered some chicken fried rice and after about ten minutes or so, I was out and about of the restaurant and slowly heading back to my room. What was I going to do? I didn't know if I really wanted to face Will one more time. The next time I'd see her face, the guilt inside me would only well over and that's something I didn't want to risk. She'd easily be able to see through me and demand to know what the problem was.
I had to get out of this. Determined, I made my way towards the elevator, clicking on the number 4, an area one level above where my room was. I'd have to stop this before Will figured out; just put an end to things with Robbie. I'm sure he'd understand, he said he did when the tears starting mixing in with the kisses back in the kitchen. He'd pulled away and said he'd give me time.
Making my way over to his room, I knocked on his door and bit on my lower lip; a little nervous as to the alternative way he could react when I told him. But before I could start worrying myself about that, the door opened.
"Alex." A look of surprise crossed his face when he saw me at his doorway. "What are you doing here?"
"If you're busy, I can leave."
"No, not at all." He took hold of my hand lightly and urged me into his room, closing the door behind him.
"I hope your roommate doesn't mind."
"I don't have one. I asked for a single room when I applied." He said with a smile, sitting down next to me on the bed. "So what's up?"
I took a deep breath and he watched me, patient. "It's...about. I don't want us to be together," I stated bluntly. The look on his face didn't change as he waited for me to go on, expecting more. "I can't do this to Will, and clearly cheating on her behind her back wasn't on my mind when we got together. So, we can only be friends."
"Why is that you care about her so much, not wanting to hurt her and just forget about me?" He asked softly, and I blinked away the guilty tears that started to pierce my eyes. I hated that question. "Why can't you break up with her and be with me? I can give you so much more. All I see between you and Will is a lust-driven relationship. You got together, after what about a week of knowing her and you think you're in love?"
He was right in so many ways about my relationship with Will and the truth about that is what hurt me. I looked away from his face, and down at my hands.
"But that's what this is about right? Once you go away from home and come to university; that's what happens. Meet a girl, fall in love, and then fall out of love thinking it was just a stupid crush, move on," when he said that, I knew he was referring to the both of us especially with the way he stroked the palm of my hand while he said it.
My blue eyes met his soft brown ones and he smiled at me. "So when I have the chance, I'll make it worthwhile, even if that means I won't have the girl at the end." He dropped his hand and stood up, creating some distance between us. "But I never expected to be the guy in between two girls, now that's just awkward," he muttered with a grin, easing up the atmosphere.
I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and took it out, seeing a message from Will: Alex, do you want to join me for lunch? xxx I contemplated for a moment, wondering whether I should leave Robbie with this and go back to Will. But that would be wrong. If I did leave her for him, I'd hurt her, and if I left him for her, I'd hurt him. And I'd never really had such a meaningful conversation like this one with Will. That made me feel this moment with Robbie worthwhile. Sighing, I replied: Can't sorry. I'll see you later? xxx
Jamming the phone back into my pocket, I looked up at Robbie; observing him. I'd never really noticed how handsome he was but he had the lightest brown eyes I'd ever seen. With a tall and muscular structure, I know he was the kind of guy who liked to work out and keep fit and his tan complexion indicated he was a surfer. Robbie also had straight jet black hair till his shoulder, that curled up a little on the ends which I found a little cute. Shaking my head to myself internally, I snapped out of my thoughts and asked, "What now?"
Smiling lightly, he replied, "You decide."