'No! I'm sorry! I can't do this!' I shouted, edging away from Nertial who had pushed the mirror away from the bed and had started edging towards me.

'But you can!' He insisted, 'I'm sure you have a fine mind to write lyrical poetry, and I'm quite sure you would excel at music!'

'No,  Nertial, I got the lowest score in the class for my music mock, I can't sing and I'm only good at english lit. not language!'

'You will have magical instruments, stupid! They will play the true melody which resides in your heart. There will be no paper involved unless you really want it.' Nertial smiled happily, before his eyes bulged.

'Nertial!' My voice cried out with another, my head snapped up and I looked over to the doorway, where a women in peach-coloured robed had popped up.

When I looked back to the funny doormouse fairy, who was no longer the former. But a dashingly handsome boy, I screamed and jumped backwards.

'Nertial! The women yelled angrily, 'The Queen said you aren't allowed to visit the bard while she is confused! Because you and you lecherous mind may get up to something crude!'

'I'm not a lecher, ma'am!' Nertial protested, 'I'm a refined prince!'

She snorted and smiled at me, 'I'm sorry, Royal Bard, Prince Nertial is a mischief.'

'It's...okay?' I mumbled, flopping back onto the bed, 'please may someone explain what is going on? I don't recall there being a Prince of England called Nertial... nor do I recall the queen having a bard.'

'I shall call someone---'

'No, Ma'am! I can explain this to her!' Nertial butted in, the lady looked wary, but nodded, and walked out.

'Please do...' I grunted, rolling over to look at the boy who was standing next to my bed. He was more like a girl, if he wasn't topless, I probably would have put him as one. He had glossy purple hair in a shaggy cut to his shoulders, and large, round turquoise eyes. His skin was slightly tan and he had pointed ears which bent down, 'your ears are pointy...' I said faintly. Though this was pretty obvious.

I don't know why I pointed this out instead of everything else,I was being highly acceptant of this situation, more so than anyone else would have been!

'Ah yes... you see mine point down? Like yours?' I put a hand to my ear and nodded, 'well, people of the Middle Realm have downward pointing ears, people of the Lower Realm's ears point straight out the sides of their heads, and people of the Upper Realm have upwards pointing ears. It's how you distinguish nationalities.'

'Oh...' I felt like being sick now, this had to all be bullshit right? "Lower Realm", Jesus! It sounded like something out of a BBC Fantasy Drama or something!

'Well, back to you... Where do I begin? Ah yes!' Nertial took a breath, 'you fell down a portal to our world, and we took you in, because it is not often we stumble across humans, the Upper Realm had already taken the boy to be their prince,' I really felt sick now... Jay! What had they done with you?! 'so we took you in to be the Royal Bard, seeing as we think humans have a rather refined music taste,' I snorted, 'and so, I was asked personally to design your new body, so I got to work

'I also sped you your ageing process, so you have the physical and real-life age of seventeen. I locked you in a magical time vortex, hope you don't mind, so you now have a Middle Realm elven body.'

'Well... fuck me...' I gasped, flopping back on the bed as I passed out.

The End

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