I walked with Liv, like I did every morning. She was quieter than usual. It wasnt like I didnt know why. It wasnt like I didnt feel the exact same pain.
New York had never seemed so dreary. The city had always been my favorite place in the world. I'd never understood the kinds of people who so longed to escape their hometowns. There was nowhere else I'd ever want to be.
But that was before. Now the streets were stained with blood, and everywhere I turned I thought I saw Kelsey darting off into the crowds. She wasnt really there, of course, but the memory of her was just so fresh. I could still remember the last time I'd hugged her. How I'd thought about telling her everything, then, but I hadnt been able to.
She'd never know now.
"I cant stand this anymore," I muttered to Liv. The black haired girl only nodded, but I wasnt even sure if she'd heard me at all. I realized I'd stopped moving, and when Liv noticed it too, she spun around to face me right there.
Around us people kept on moving. Their lives were going on just fine. I didnt understand how they could be living like this when my best friend was in a goddamn box under ground. I thought about all the promises we'd made each other, all the things we'd said to each other. The first time she'd ever run to my house in tears, and I'd held her tightly and told her it would be alright.
There was this one time, when she'd come over last summer. We'd been sitting on my bed with our knees just barely touching. It was everything perfect and sweet, and I had known then that I never wanted to lose that feeling.
"Promise me something," Kelsey had said in that bubblegum perfect voice of hers. "When we graduate, let's go to California. Let's pack up and do something crazy for once."
I couldnt bring myself to tell her that I'd never leave New York. The city was in my blood. It was a part of me.
So I took her hand in mine and gave her a graceful smile. "Okay," I said. "I promise."
Standing now beside Liv, tears stung at my eyes. I would not break down, not now. I wanted so badly to stay strong, at least for my friends. "I'm going to do something crazy," I said suddenly.
Liv was looking at me like I was absolutely insane. And maybe I was. Maybe I was.