There I sat in Dr. Levin's office - which I knew was pretty bad, as I'd never had that honor before - waiting for the verdict on my punishment when my thoughts began to wander to how I'd gotten to this point.
Thinking back, it was probably the fact that I almost killed someone. But for once, it wasn't some random fight. It went way back a whole week.
I loved Kelsey Kay Vanderson, and when I say that, I mean I loved her like a brother loves a sister. When she killed herself, my whole world cracked, with pieces of it falling away. My friends became more distant, my temper more volatile, and my emotions less controlled. Then, Ryan Callahan had to make a joke of it, talking about how she was probably "sick of not being with the popular crowd" - or what he thought was the popular crowd - and having "losers for friends", and I lost it.
I heard him say that from across the school courtyard, and in seconds I crossed the space between us and hammered my fist into his stomach. Then, he muttered, "Dumb son of a bitch," and tried to punch me back. I grabbed his wrist, pulled it back, and threw him on the ground, and continued throwing punch after punch, not stopping until he was bleeding all over.
"The next time," I said, "that you ever say something like that again, I will not stop short of killing you just because we're on Academy grounds." Of course, I realized that by then, he was passed out because of all of the bleeding and trauma, but I figured he'd get the message.
Now, he was probably lying on a bed in the ER. And here I was, sitting in the office for standing up for myself. It was wonderful how the school always heard and saw everything I did, but everyone else was totally innocent in their eyes. Dr. Levin entered the room and said, "You will have the rest of the year's worth of detention, and you will face the legal consequences of your actions, as well. I'm told your trial will be tomorrow. And Tony," she said, "Please stop getting into these fights. You are a wonderful student and a great artist. You've just got to stop getting into trouble and let your talents come to fruition."
I was taken back to my house and told I couldn't leave - I'd be staying there overnight until my trial the next morning. I went to my room and considered the gun sitting in the closet. That would end it all - no more pain, no more problems. The dead felt nothing. That was one good thing about it. But, was that what Kelsey would have wanted for me? Probably not. That was Kelsey - she never could help herself, but she wanted the best for her friends.
The next morning, I went to my trial at ten o'clock and sat there for a little while, spoke when spoken to, and, at the end, was told I would be serving seven months of community service with a fine of $70,000. Dad would be pissed. But, it was better than going to prison for eight months with no bail. I still couldn't help but think that Kelsey wouldn't have wanted this for any of us - me, Odette, Liv, or Freya.