The restaurant wasn't where I wanted to be; there was always something about the atmosphere inside one that made it quite impersonal, that was exactly what I wanted to avoid. So instead, Scarlett and I ended up going back to the hotel just like I'd originally planned.
She was sat across from me on the bed, legs crossed as she looked on at me; waiting for me to break the silence while I watched her from my chair. Since we'd made our orders, we hadn't much as uttered a word, both of us filled in our own silence. But it wasn't one of awkwardness, one that made us both squirm as we felt uncomfortable. It was rather peaceful with the exchange of our smiles and gazes. It was when I brought it up, that Scarlett seemed completely taken aback.
"I've been wanting to talk to you about your feelings for me."
It was a very blunt statement; as straightforward as the first time I'd said 'I love you' to her. And just like before, her beautiful green eyes widened in surprise, an 'oh' escaping from her lips.
She didn't reply and I was kept waiting, the anxiety and need to hear her voice growing inside me. But I masked it with a patient smile, my gray eyes friendly and open as I played cautiously. I didn't want to scare her like the few times I'd done before when I brought this topic up. Instead, I lightly urged her with a question.
"Will you tell me Scarlett?"
She no longer looked at me, her attention on the carpeted floor. Scarlett had been avoiding this long enough and I had the right to know. I guess her acknowledgement of how I felt about this was what provoked the next few words she said.
"Lucas, I want to tell you the truth but I-"
"I won't hurt you Scar, I know you're afraid of me." I gave her a sad smile, trying to make it all look as sincere as possible. "I try not to be so demanding of you but I love you that much. And if you don't reciprocate those feelings...I don't know what I'll-"
She interuppted me and by the sudden moist in her eyes, I was able to tell she'd fallen right into my trap. "Don't say that. I just..." Her voice shuddered as she tried to speak, pausing to take a large breath before continuing, "You're right though. You forced me into this relationship."
I stared at her face, too shocked to let any emotion slip onto my own. The expression on hers was hesitant but honest as she opened her mouth once more, "You kind of took control of things; had the upper hand and you never gave me a say. You seemed to be the one pushing the words out of my mouth, every 'I love you', every kiss. It's too much for me to bear. I wished you could just give me some time but you never did."
She glanced at me, checking on how I was doing. The fact that I hadn't jumped on her yet seemed to encourage her to keep talking.
"I loved you at the beginning but with every night in Dreamland, things seemed to change between us. I still love you but...just not as much. And I just want you to change back to the old Lucas...the one I first fell in love with."
The knock on the door made us both jump. We'd been too absorbed in the conversation to realise that much time had passed us by. I let the waiter in, and he lingered around after he set down the food; waiting for the usual tip. But I clearly wasn't in such a mood to give him one. Instead, I pushed him out and locked the door with a softclick, one that I'm sure Scarlett couldn't hear.
I decided not to speak with her until we finished our dinner; a half an hour passing us by. It was when the clock chimed nine o'clock when I started talking back to her, resuming our old positions in the room. We'd kept our distance after what she'd said but it was hard for me to go so long without holding her to me. She deserved to know how I felt; my response to things. And so, she waited and I spoke.
"I can't change Scar," I said softly. She looked at me, curious and a tinge of disappointment on her face. "This is who I am. The old Lucas Fletcher was an act; one to draw you to me. It was only temporary."
"But then -"
"You wouldn't have loved me," I whispered bitterly. "But you do now. That's what matters."
"But you're not the real Lucas Fletcher to me anymore," she said, her voice rising as she stood up, glaring at me. "How can I love you if I-"
It was the quickest motion when I closed the distance between us, pressing my lips to her soft ones, kissing her passionately. "With time, you will." I took hold of her waist and pushed her back against the bed, pinning her down and kissing my way down her throat. I would have her tonight. She'd be mine forever from now on.