I sat on the pier, close to where the boat was anchored. I scooped my legs and wrapped my arms tightly around them, staring at the vast ocean before me. I acted like an idiot and I felt like one, for once in my life. Why did I let that guy seduced me into flirting with him? I wasn’t thinking through and most importantly, I had forgotten about Sasha the entire time I was talking- flirting, actually- with Marcos. It was when I saw her dancing salsa with that guy that my anguish sparked. When she confronted me, I cringed inside and wished she was gone, wished we hadn’t gone through these painful exchange of words and confusion.
A tear strolled down my cheek and I brushed it away with my shoulder, I was feeling miserable, and it was one of these moments that I yearned to be back home. Soft footsteps were coming towards me and finally, a warm arm nudged against me. It was Rosalita.
“Hey sweetie, what are you doing out here alone? The party is over there,” she said in a warm and cheerful tone. “Tell me, what’s wrong, you can confide in me.”
“I want to go home,” I said in a broken voice, “I don’t want to be here anymore,” a tear rolled down and I didn’t bother to wipe it or hide it. “I am such an idiot, how could I hurt the most important person in my life so far…”
“Aww, honey,” she wrapped an arm around my shoulder and held me close to her, “everybody makes mistakes. You have to learn to understand and forgive yourself, whatever you did couldn’t have been that bad.”
“She told me she was in love with me,” I whispered, “I wasn’t expecting that. I mean, we’re in a relationship but so far I thought it was for fun…never something serious… I didn’t know what to respond. I was afraid of my response, what if I do love her as well; our feelings will be compromised forever. I don’t want to feel the responsibility of her loving me…”
“What nonsense are you talking about?” Rosalita stroked my hair, “it is okay to feel afraid when loving someone, you never know if you’re going to get hurt or hurt that person who loves you. You’re afraid to let Sasha down, that truly demonstrates that you love her as well. Don’t be afraid to love or be loved.”
I nodded and sniffed away the sobs. “Do you know where she is?”
“In the balcony of my room,” she stood up and lent me a hand, pulling me to my feet. “If you still feel unwell and uncomfortable then talk to me, I can give you a ride home.”
I smiled, “thanks, but it won’t be necessary as well. I was thinking about what you said and I feel at home now… you know… not meaning to sound cheesy, but home is wherever the persons you love are, right?”
“Right,” she smiled at me and we walked back to the beach house.
I entered the room quietly, and only Sasha was there. The sunset delineated her body and it set quite an amazing view when contrasted with the darkening sky. I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her shoulder.
"Sorry." I whispered.
"No, I'm sorry for overreacting." She turned around and held my eyes.
"You were right though. I found myself flirting with him for some unknown reason,” I admitted.
"It's ok. I understand that you're new to all of this. It must be difficult to think that you can't receive the attention of that guy. I heard he's quite the ladies man."
"Marcos? Yeah I can see that actually." She leaned towards me and kissed me.
"Just don't do it again ok? It kinda sucked."
“Promise,” I said, kissing her again. “I don’t know what happened to me, I think I was being playful with him…just wanted to feel what it was like. Thanks for telling me you’re in love with me,” I blushed, “that really cast me into a different light, to be honest, that was sort of unexpected.”
“For your girlfriend to be in love with you?”
“For anybody to be in love with me for that matter,” I blushed into a deeper shade of red.
“Cerice, of course I love you and am in love with you,” she whispered. I let her push me back against the bed and we were lying next to each other in the comfort of the white linen. The tingling sensation washed over me once again but it died quickly.
“I am in love with you as well,” I said confidently. She smiled and kissed me, her hands were traveling down the side of my body and her hands were resting in my hips now. I remained unmovable and fearful.
Saved by the bell, I reached inside my pocket as we broke from our kiss. It was a text from my aunt. I grimaced as I read.
“What’s wrong? Something happened to your family?” Sasha asked.
“No,” I replied, “my parents want me home for the weekend; it will be the last two days before they go back to France.”
“Well, that is nice; they want to spend time with you…” Sasha said.
“Why don’t you come with me?” I asked. “I want them to meet you, not as a friend, but as my girlfriend.” It was a bold request, but the time had come, the time to face reality.